The Critical State of the Union

Is he delusional? Is he insane? Or is there just not enough oxygen getting into that bubble he is in? What in the hell was he talking about? Is some evil scientist somewhere about to perfect a cloned centaur that I don't know about? Then what was all that business about banning inter-species cloning? We already have Ted Williams' head in a freezer somewhere and some DNA from Secretariat. Just think of the baseball playing racehorse we could create if the President would relax the regulations a little. He has on everything else, why not cloning? We could clone Bush and impeach him twice.

The wonderful thing about our President is that it does not matter what you say or write about him. He is not listening so he is not concerned. Bush is the walking example of the axiom "ignorance is bliss." As long as there is another hill to climb on his mountain bike, the world is a wonderful place. As evidenced by the State of the Union speech last night, that's too bad for the rest of us. Usually, Bush says whatever he needs to say to get through a crisis, (i.e. "We'll build back New Orleans better than ever," or, "Listening to Americans' conversations without a warrant is covered under Congress' vote to give the President power to wage war.")But last night, he did not even attempt that. It was the same old bovine leavings. "9/11, terrorists are trying to kill you, don't pay any attention to the man behind the curtain, God bless America, Git-R-Done."

Bush speaks of the dangers of isolationism and protectionism. Are we back to the Monroe Doctrine? Who in the United States is speaking of "isolationism" except President Bush? Back in college philosophy, we learned that such an argument is called a "straw man." You create a bogeyman from whole cloth, create fear or confusion about it, then you knock it down. Saddam Hussein has proved to be very much of a straw man except he keeps walking out of court and defying the law. Who does he think he is, George W. Bush? And the only protectionism I've heard about comes from Republicans, horrified by our trade deficit, who wish to put tariffs on goods coming from other countries who's labor is cheaper than ours. Bush realizes his corporate donors along the Texas border need that cheap labor, but he engages in doublespeak because the people who vote for him want to build a wall.

Bush says "freedom is on the march." Unfortunately, it's a forced march at bayonet point. If he has admitted intelligence failures caused him to "adjust" his battle plan, why in five years has he done nothing to improve our intelligence capabilities? What good does it do to read Americans' e-mail but miss the fact that the Palestinian elections are not going the way you thought? Bush pointedly warned Hamas about conditions they must meet before being recognized by the United States. My question is, do you think they care? The Palestinian people elected a terrorist organization to represent them right under the nose, and financial aid, of the U.S. government. Are they concerned that the Bush administration scolded them? Judging from the news footage from the West Bank, the outcome of this election could have been predicted by the administration just from finding out who had the concession for green baseball hats in Nablus.

It has reached the sad point where it does not matter what the President says. Most people just don't believe him anymore. Last night, Bush read a Karl Rove "strategeried" speech poorly. It was a waste of an hour for all concerned. Now that it's over, we can turn our attention this week to the largest case of corporate fraud ever, and hope that somewhere during the Enron trial it will be pointed out that they were the Bush team's major corporate donors since his first run for Governor of Texas. What I am eagerly awaiting is the State of the Union address for next year. I realize that it is twelve months away, but the mid-term elections are only ten months away. And if the American people have finally drawn the conclusion that our engineer and his crew are, and have been, asleep at the switch, they just may rise up in righteous indignation and decide to throw the bums out. In that case, without the cloak of a Republican Congress to protect him, next year's address may come while the President is under indictment for high crimes and misdemeanors. Come on, calendar! Meanwhile, no cloning Granny along with Fluffy to try and create a housecat that bakes cookies.