Friday, September 22, 2006

Life Rage

I hardly go out any longer. Instead, I invested in a flat screen TV. There are several programs that Melody and I enjoy and I like to keep up with the news and commentary. A few posts ago, a commenter to this blog suggested that anyone that vexes himself over political matters as much as I must have other issues. At first I laughed it off as a "no one is blinder than he who won't see" remark, but then I began to worry that someone had posted the results of my Minnesota Multi-Phasal Personality Index on the net and I had to reconsider the commenter's statements.

I am by nature reclusive, but even I can recognize this last round of social withdrawal as pathological. If I were female, I might say that after the Cohen primary victory, I was so shocked from backing a winner that I went into a sort of post-partem depression from dealing with these unfamiliar feelings; or a Jimmy Carteresque malaise waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since I was diagnosed twenty years ago with a genetic pre-disposition for depression, these episodes don't concern me as much because I understand them now and know they will pass. Still, I feel like I should call my friends and apologize for going missing in action, but this frame of mind also accepts that most people are so self-absorbed they never notice the comings and goings of anyone else, and my real friends understand anyway.

Of course my days are colored by the tenor of the times and I remain disconcerted about the workings of this government. But the discord created by this administration manifests itself in almost every other aspect of life. In every arena of public life I am daily disturbed by the combative, confrontational, inconsiderate, or just plain mindless attitude of people's interactions with others. I have previously written about the chore driving has become. When Melody and I go anywhere, she insists on driving because my explosive responses to the cell phone talkers and bad drivers were not disturbing anyone but her. An example; today, we were driving behind a new Escalade driven by some unconscious preppie wannabe, and there was a brand new "W" sticker on the rear window that said "Still the President." I wondered if it was necessary to continue to remind us? The polarization that exists in general society today makes me nostalgic for Nixon.

I watch my wide screen and wonder how the Evangelicals must feel hearing their born-again President compared to the Devil at the United Nations, to the general amusement of other world leaders. I see Bush's approval ratings above 40% and wonder who can still be defending this Chucklehead when he says to Matt Lauer about the terrorist threat, "This is people who want to come here and kill your families." I hear Darth Cheney brag that there have been no further acts of terror on our soil since 9/11 and I immediately search for a wooden surface to knock on. I think that before any "alternative" interrogation techniques are approved for use by our forces, that Bush should have to try them out first. The way they make it sound, waterboarding is a pleasant summer sport. I try to put this growing hatred I feel towards the members of the Bush administration in context and tell myself that it is their policies that I hate, although it's difficult to make the separation with this strutting, stammering fool in your face all the time who feels he can better make his point by saying the same thing, only louder. I wish Bush's handlers would just tell him to shut up and go to Crawford and do no further harm, but he consumes my reality with his arrogance and constant hurtling toward further wars. I wish there were more I could do to hasten the day when accountability arrives, but I fear that the Bush group will use future conflicts or aggressive actions to fan the flames of nationalism for their cynical partisan use.

But I'm just one man looking for a brighter day when my sense of humor returns and I can enjoy the simple comforts of time passed easily with friends. This election is only 46 days away. If by some chance the Democrats snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I honestly don't know what I will do. I could benefit from the use of a psychologist, but I am one of the uninsurables, and psychotherapy is a luxury for which I cannot afford to pay retail. I had health insurance once, but the company dropped me because I needed it. Until then, you are my psychologist and I thank you for withholding your bill until times get better.

10 comments:

disbcrazy said...

That's 40% of probably 19%. Hope fully after the other 81% chime in, Bush will be the winner again.
He does SOMETHING, granted, sometimes not perfectly. At least he DOES SOMETHING. Dems talk real big, but asked what solutions they have? "Impeach the trator". "Get rid of the dumb a%$#".
Well that's some real thinkin' goin' on there!

davethedog said...

Don't worry. Hitler had an "approval" rating higher than 40% and he ended up cowering in the bunker (spiderhole) before he died. The crybabies who defend him saying that he "does something" are deluding them selves. He does mosr things wrong. As to the democrats, I feel quite nostalgic for the days of no war and a full bank account. It the Repubs think that this deficit spending will not come back to haunt us with a vengence, just ask anyone who is unemployed with maxed out Visa cards. It took us decades to get our accounts balanced and out of debt, ask any business owner what this means.

Dick Paris said...

Maybe we should use the administration interrogation techniaques on Bush jsut to find out which other laws he has broken that we haven't found out about yet. I'm betting it goes far beyond sercet prisons and illegal phone taps.

No wonder the Justice depsartment is fighting against the reporter shield law. It seems like they are intent in protecting this country's biggest law breaker, our Cowboy President.

I keep asking why no one is charging Bush with crimes, and how he gets to break a law, and then ask Congress to change it without being charged with breaking?

What's going on?!?

Anonymous said...

the loss of your "funny" is a loss to the world. the thought of you so pained by the world deeply pains me. A study of people who watch too much T V finds high anxiety and depression. want a Dr.'s advice go to bed at 11 get up 8. go for a long walk. it's a lovely world dont miss it. Your's Dr. Buckethead

Anonymous said...

I think that becoming more reclusive comes with age. We are helped along by all kinds of subtle hints from the mainstream culture that older folks are no longer 'in the picture'. Becoming more reclusive may be a subconscious response to this...but then it may be that death is beckoning us and we prepare for it by withdrawing. I love you, Randy, because you are a part of my world, as a child of Memphis culture in the 60's/70's and it saddens me that the bogus, sordid world of politcs gets you down. Since you are already withdrawing...go a little further...turn on, tune in, and drop out. You may regain your psycho-spiritual health by so doing. Politics is as bogus as a WHELLBARROW FULL OF STEAMING DRAGON SHIT (Dems as well as Reps)...so just let go of it and become a flower-child once again. Remember the joy of turning from the mainstream culture in the 60's? Well, just go back there. You left it more than it left you. That world may have departed the mainstream culture, but it can still live in you if you want it to. Just cut yourself free from all the bullshit that brings you down...unless you love your chains more than freedom, inner peace, and joy. It's just one of the negative symptoms of being an 'adult'. The kingdom of heaven is for children and it is within you. Politics and all the other stuff that people fight and squabble over is just another drug that will rob you of your joy...Swami Anonymousandi

Anonymous said...

Hell, it could be worse,you could be alone!! Thank God for LOVE!!Choppy

disbcrazy said...

Yea almost, B u t . . . .
Anonymous said "Politics and all the other stuff that people fight and squabble over is just another drug that will rob you of your joy...Swami"
Well I agree, however I say we FIGHT it TOGETHER.
I want the IRS to go away.
I want Repubs and Dems to go away. I want "illegal" Mexicans to go away.
I want Wellfare whores to go away.

These things above are what's robbing us of our joy and money.
We are SUPPOSE to be in charge but we've let them be for far too long. I for one will spend my last breath trying to make this a better place for my kids and yours.

Anonymous said...

You have to be in the world, but you don't have to be of it...unless you choose to be. Everyone has a hand in creating the psycho-spiritual world that he/she inhabits. By all means, vote, chop wood, carry water, etc. Do your best at whatever, but you can, at the same time, remain detached. This is a fallen world heading for a big meltdown, but you can smell the roses while avoiding the thorns until then. No sense in getting your panties in a wad over issues and circumstances you can do nothing about, and this includes everything that is outside of your personal sphere of influence. Do all that you can do to improve your local world, and one of the best things that you can do is to maintain a personal atmosphere of joy, peace, love, and non-controversy. Everyone has a point of view...so what? Is yours really superior? If yours is THE TRUTH (I'd be careful with that one), then it is also God's point of view...let Him sort it out. There is a story about a monk who slipped over the edge of a cliff and grabbed a vine to break his fall. Below him was a pride of hungry lions. As the vine began to break, he noticed a patch of ripe strawberries growing out of the cliff in front of him. A minute our two before the vine broke and he plunged to his death, he enjoyed the best strawberry he had ever eaten. That is a good life lesson. People don't pay much attention to silly parables any more. Probably because we are too 'adult'.

davethedog said...

Mark Foley the Republican from Florida doesn't use a "bookmark". This is because he likes his "pages" bent over.

Anonymous said...

I keep telling you folks that politics is too bogus to waste your time with. It's in the very nature of the game, and it is a sick, wierd game. Only bogus people are drawn to it. Find something useful to get involved with. Almost anything else would have more dignity...pimping or dope-dealing would be a step up.