Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Joe "The Plumber" McCarthy Tour



So it's come to this. Desperate and panicked, the former Bush operatives now surrounding Sarah Palin have sent her out to stoke the mob by quoting Karl Marx. Initially, Palin thought Karl was the fifth Marx Brother after Zeppo, but she can see remnants of Marxism from her official state sponsored trips to the Bering Strait with the "First Dude," so she seemed a natural at calling Obama a Communist. Nodding agreement was added to her quoting of the Communist Manifesto by the gravitas of her chief surrogate of the day, Hank Williams, Jr., who was standing next to her in cowboy hat and customary shades. I always take sociological advice from a country singer who once sang he was, "Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound."

Just like the other day, when Palin appeared with the vapid Elizabeth Hasslebeck. Who better to introduce a candidate who acts like a game show host than a "celebrity" who's claim to fame was being a game show contestant? But Hasslebeck should spare her lectures on Dialectic Materialism for The View, where she can be debated by a real authority, Whoopie Goldberg. Should McCain/Palin lose the election, I'd like to pitch the networks a reality show where Hasselbeck, Palin, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and Laura Ingraham can sit around a table and excoriate those abortion loving, liberal, women feminists types. We'll call it "Mean Girls." Better yet, allow the gun worshippers and abortion zealots to follow Sarah, Todd, Trigg, Track, Piper, Willow, Levi, Bristol and the baby back to Alaska to wait for the Rapture. There's tons of room and some oil too, whose revenues Palin "redistributes" among her constituents. The Mormons have a state; the Jews have a state; The Catholics have a whole country; let's give Seward's Folly to the right-wing Christians and survivalists, and call it Evangelaska.

Palin's red-baiting and accusations of un-Americanism bring back chilling memories of Republican Senator Joe McCarthy of Wisconsin, who went on a Communist "Witch Hunt" in the fifties that ruined people's lives, reputations, and livelihoods. For young people who don't remember, McCarthy was a bellicose, hawkish, former pilot, super-patriot who, along with his overtly Jewish sidekick Roy Cohn, slandered all those he considered sympathetic to the country's enemies. Sort of like John McCain and Joe Lieberman today, minus the charm. But since the military was one of McCarthy's targets, John McCain should have known better than to unleash this lowest and most dangerous of attacks. Sarah Palin, having no knowledge of history, has no problems slinging around venom like this, but McCain is old enough to know that there are still people alive today, especially in the creative arts, who suffered irreparably from the unspoken "Blacklists" that resulted from McCarthy's inquisitions. It worked for old Joe awhile, but McCarthy's name is forever associated with disgrace and zealotry. This is dangerous stuff for a V.P. candidate who believes that she's the future of the Republican Party to be spouting.

Speaking of Joe, I still can't understand how McCain's entire economic plan is encapsulated in "Joe the Plumber." In fact, if he refers to "JTP" one more time, I'm going to need a plumber. It was bad enough until JTP started showing up at Palin rallies and offering opinions on everything from Socialism to how a vote for Obama assures the "Death of Israel." And to cap it off, country singer Aaron Tippen has signed JTP to a management contract for a future album project. I guess I didn't make it big as a country songwriter because I was too honest. I stood in a room full of Nashville writers who were in my same publishing stable and expressed the opinion that, "Country Music is a celebration of poverty and ignorance." At least that's what Nashville turns out, so Joe The Plumber will not only fit right in, he'll be treated like visiting royalty. There's already a Larry the Cable Guy, so why not?

McCain chose Palin in a fit of pique when the Bush/Rove boys that manage his campaign, refused to let him pick Joe Lieberman. McCain, himself, won the nomination by default, because no one could appease the beast. First, Rudy was a shoo-in until he refused to campaign and began accepting calls from his wife in the middle of important speeches. Then it was Mitt Romney until his magic underwear failed him. Huckabee was too Huckleberry and he didn't believe in evolution, and Fred Thompson was so bloated and gaseous it made you wonder how his trophy wife endured the excessive belching. It was McCain by elimination, and Palin in order to throw the lions to the Christians. That's why at McCain/Palin rallies, you hear a lot of boos, while they are cheering at Obama/Biden events. The Democrats present initiatives and plans, the GOP offers invective and poison.

I am not sorry watching the patchwork Republican majority of free-marketeers, right wing Evangelicals, rich people who hate capital gains and inheritance taxes, anti-abortionists, and xenophobes that has existed for 30 years begin to implode. But it's not enough to merely defeat a party. The philosophy of Gingrich and DeLay, Dobson and Robertson, Limbaugh and Hannity, and Cheney and Bush must be crushed absolutely with a wooden stake driven through it's cold, shrivelled heart. I watched the Democratic Party completely unravel over an unpopular war and ominously repressed societal problems. An Obama victory is not guaranteed, but should the Democrats win, the ultimate irony is that the President-elect will address the nation from Chicago, where exactly 40 years ago, blood ran in the streets and the old Democratic cooalition was trampled and scattered after the brutality and chaos of the 1968 Convention. The mayor then, as now, was named Richard J. Daley. Only this time the candidate is Barack Obama, and he has a clarion call to unity.

"Power concedes nothing without a fight" Barack Obama 10/29/08

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think she knows who the Marx Brothers ARE, much less Zeppo or how many. She lives in a 'colorized' world.
js

Anonymous said...

Great Comprehensive Coverage! Speaks Volumes while turning up the Volume on our Propaganda Toting Friends.

Anonymous said...

Randy, You've reached back to your great comedic talent and coined a phrase that I love. Thanks for "let's give Seward's Folly to the right-wing Christians and survivalists, and call it Evangelaska." Evangelaska? I really like the sound of that. Thanks again.

--- Dick Paris

Anonymous said...

Randy, your blog is as good as Dailykos.com !. Really creative, funny, and SPOT ON! It's funny that I still hear the words, "Sir, have you no decency"? You mention Cohn working with McCarthy... It's worth mentioning that a legal assistant to Cohn at those hearings was none other than 'ole Tricky Dick'. Sign of things to come huh? Good work.. Keep it up...
zephyrman

geno722 said...

Randy, thanks for reminding me again why I didn't move to Nashville, and why I probably still shouldn't despite the woeful lack of any remaining music community in Memphis (which, I suppose, began a long time ago.) OK, back to the political rant: Palin is way more dangerous than McCain. Which, apparently, a few folks in Alaska already know. The newspaper in Anchorage endorsed Obama. 'Nuff said!

Anonymous said...

When your son was almost mugged, you were thanking God. Now you are mocking God.
That's a very dangerous game Randy.
make up your mind.

Anonymous said...

Randy, your heart is so filled with hatred that I am afraid that your soul is endangered. I have never heard such a hate speech in my life. It is close to being Satanic. It is a liberal version of a KKK rant. But, I may be wasting my breath since you are so manifestly atheistic. I hope that you won't mind going to the hell that you don't believe in. You'll have a big surprise shortly after you breathe your last breath. I find no joy in having to break this news to you.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree. Randy goes beyond the realm of politics to a pretty creepy and venomous hatred. This post is breath taking in its ferocity. Anyone who dares to disagree with Democrats politically is marked for death at least figuratively. Very irrational. It's the kind of thing that makes one wonder if he is the victim of child abuse. How else could anyone wind up so filled with hatred for other beings who just have political differences? He and those who are so quick to agree with him seem like the kind of people who would implement death squads if they had any power. Potentally dangerous people I would say. Lots of liberals are like this. The really radical ones constitute something of an American Taliban.

Anonymous said...

"Evangelaska, Evangelaska, they're trying to wash us away, they're trying to wash us away"

Anonymous said...

The only thing good about an Obama presidency is that he will probably work with Barney Franks to decriminalize marijuana. Franks wants to decriminalize users who are caught with less than 100 grams of pot. Getting stoned will lessen the pain of the country becoming less free and more socialistic which is the big change that Obama keeps talking about. And the hope that he refers to is only for the country's socialists who are waiting with bated breath till they get to appropriate and spend other people's money. Socialism is getting the government to steal for you. However, the down side is that stoned people will be less likely to do anything about the noose that is being tightened around their necks by our evil government. Republicans shouldn't get their asses up in the air, because they are taking us to the same place just at a little slower rate.If the Democrats were more patient they could wait a little while and then they would be able to unify with the Republicans to form one large 'Screw the People To Death Party'.

Anonymous said...

Randy, another great article. I love the Evangelaska deal.

I must correct you on one point. There was already a 5th Marx Brother, Gummo, the one who retired before the movies. So Karl would be #6. Don't think he would have been as funny though.

Joel

Anonymous said...

Republicans are indeed contemptible. But, Democrats are beneath contempt. They stare in the face of truth and then say, 'What is truth?'. To which another Democrat would say, 'Truth is something that we make up as we go along'.

Anonymous said...

I just heard a liberal on a talk show say, 'A wealthy person is anyone who makes a nickle more than I do. Soak them, I say.' Class warfare on the hoof. Like you said they are beneath contempt, but you neglected to say that they are also natural born thieves. Everyone who has being on the take in their DNA becomes a Democrat. That is why they are soft on crime. They want to make prisons comfortable before they get there. What more needs to be said?

Anonymous said...

Randy you left out a word. "Country Music is a celebration of poverty, ignorance and RACISM"

As to the crybabies who talk about socialism. We are already socialist in that we use the taxes of the citizens for communal benefits. Has anyone had to build their own roads lately? It is a matter of degree and what we consider important to guarantee for all citizens.

Universal healthcare may be socialist until it is your mother or your child. Putting aside the waste and fraud argument, it is a fact that our medical science has outstripped the individuals ability to pay for it.

For the numskulls who moan about creeping socialism regarding health care. Go tell your own mother that you think she should die, rather than have the government pay for or subsidize her health care.

Also, Obama will win and it will not even be close. However, it will not be retribution and punishment for the other side like both parties have done in the past.

This is a real opportunity to fix parts of our American society that are fucked up. "Come on people, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another, RIGHT NOW"

peace out.

will reed said...

randy,

evangelaska !

it is amusing to read about what a "dog" you are. keep up the good work.

obama appears to be headed for a serious victory. at least that is what my "inner gizzard" is telling. so lets all go to work and get this thing right for a few years. we have to keep our eye on the ball more this time than the good "repugs" have over these last years. they really let things go to ruin. we ain't any better than them if left unattended.

anyway - it is my deep desire to be alive on tuesday night - just for the chance to be present when hell freezes over and an unbelievable shout of joy goes out over the land. much love,

senior willie

Anonymous said...

Sorry I'm late. But, boy, I got to read some of the comments and a number are of some major concern to me.

Just curious now, but (and here comes a medical analogy because I think it will hopefully pack with it the need for absolute seriousness when discussing life and death matters) is it not ok to kick the scalpel out of the fake surgeon's hands before he/she is ready to do a thyroidectomy on your daughter? For those uninitiated a thyroidectomy is an operation on the neck right at a spot at mid trachea where it is comfortably straddled by the thyroid. Missteps here could be absolutely life threatening. If a person accidentally cuts into the trachea because, for instance, a person really doesn't know the anatomy or because a person only heard about the anatomy from someone who was trying to teach it to them in the bathroom next to the operating room just before the person went in to operate, then this faux surgeon might just kill your daughter..... I need to be graphic so that kids killed or maimed in Iraq or people who drowned when the flood waters came over their second story bedroom in New Orleans or people who had preexisting conditions who couldn't get medical insurance are able to be a part of the kicking mechanism to take the pretend surgeon (read here: killer) out before your daughter dies.....

...so, is it ok to kick the scalpel out of the pretender who had the audacity to walk into a surgical suite and almost cause your beautiful daughter to drown in her own blood?
Not ok?
Ok?
What is it?
Would you be aghast?
Would you go crazy?
Would you polite?
No? Not polite?
Do I sound angry? Did Randy sound angry?

Well yes sir you are right sir you picked up on some anger sir. We obviously see the potential to put a person (who maybe could be reeeelly a good waitress in an Irish bar on a side street in downtown Des Moines and not much more than that) in charge of life and death situations for millions of people as very bad..yes sir...very bad.. and we (crazy as it may seem to you as you look down at your beautiful daughter who is still alive because you had the good sense to take the fake surgeon out---because you were angry at this potential killer...very angry) ...we see the potential to put that fake surgeon in charge of the USA as worse than what you are feeling about this potential killer of your daughter.

....in magniture, sir, not more than that. Only in magnitude.

That anyone with any brains at all could for a minute...no, a nanosecond..believe that in the event of a McCain death that Sarah Palin is the one in whose hands the entire out of control bombed-out maimed-out children-starving businesses going bankrupt financial housing commodity energy debacle hospital ED overcrowded no primary care provider US healthcare system, etc, etc, et fucking cetera....that her 'maybe Irish waitress half brain everything is easy just talk to first hubby about it and shit it'll all werk itself out' hands are the ones we want on the reins...then, you are a total idiot. Total. A give no mercy idiot. That is as clear to me as the fact that yes indeedie I am angry, Randy is angry, and, hold on now.........

....if you're not angry that this woman who had the audacity and stupidity to accept the nomination and that John McCain had the total lack of appropriate gravitas for what could be life and death for a lot of people to offer it, then again I say this with as much delicacy as I am able right now, you are an i-di-ot.

Got that?

And "I have no joy in having to read this to you".

Please!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm not so sure there is a hell so I'm not so sure anyone has to worry about going there, of course I'm not so sure about that God thing either ----- so ,that being said, why is anon 10:47 oct.30 so sure anyone (especially Randy) would be making a visit.People like that scare the shit out of me, they seem so closed minded and out of touch. It's so unreal to think that having an opinion could make so many people crazy. Just you wait,I have afeeling that in a few months all of our lives will see a hugh CHANGE. Power to all people.

Anonymous said...

Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Western civ has got to go! Jesse Jackson used to lead students in this cheer when he would visit college campuses. Rumour has it that Obama is going to adopt this as our new national anthem after he is elected. Here is a prophetic word. The fact that Obama is going to be elected is symptomatic that America is terminally ill and is on the verge of suicide. After Obama's term in office, America will no longer be recognizable. Of course, I know that this news will give you lefties cause to cheer. But I think what is coming down the pike will erase those smiles from your faces. There are some very bad boys who are waiting in the wings and slavering over what they are going to do with America after she becomes weakened enough for their assault. We just do not have the character to sustain a free country and the pain that is coming will be a hellish nightmare. Wait and see if this does not come to pass.

Anonymous said...

Check this guy out. He should be the first black American president. Go to: hotair.com/archives/2008/10/23/video-zo-on-health-care-energy-taxes-pretty-much-everything/

Anonymous said...

Here's a heads-up. America will be inundated with a blood bath within the next four years. Wait and see. A reign of terror is about to begin. This is NOT a threat. It is a prognosis, a reading of the signs on the horizon for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear. So beware!

Anonymous said...

Whoa! It is getting crazier than seven hells around here!! How crazy is seven hells, you ask? About as crazy as America is about to be. The lefty termites have been eating away at the foundation of America and they are a few nibbles from bringing the whole structure down. And then, voila! We will see what it is like to be immersed in the craziness of seven hells. Grab hold, because the house that has been built on sand is about to come crashing down...'and great was the fall of it'. The lefty termites will say, 'WTF!! We thought we were going to find paradise, but all we find is horror beyond imagining'. Too late Mr. Termite, too late.

Anonymous said...

Get this! The Repugnants want to deregulate Wall St. & Corporate America and then turn right around and regulate my vagina. The Hell with that! And for all you country music degenerates who keep saying we know more about Joe the Plumber than we know about Barach Obama...You are going to know all you need to know about The Big O come Tuesday! You will know him as Mr. President! Can you say no more "W"! CH-CH-CH-CHANGES!!!!!!!Yours truly! SIREEN

Anonymous said...

Pheeew! Sireen, please don't speak of your vagina. The very word conjures up foul visions of stench and worse. To address the apocalyptic hysteric, the Left is not going to bring us down. They are merely the agents that are weakening the country. It is the Islamic terrorists who will apply the coup de gras. The Left do not realize that to the Islamofacists they are just more infidels to behead. I hope the Left doesn't think that the terrorists are going to cut them any slack. They won't fit into the plans for a global caliphate. They are just useful idiots who will weaken America for the kill.

Anonymous said...

Just imagine liberals living under Sharia law. Those guilty of sexual transgressions would either be stoned to death or beheaded. That would eliminate over 99% of them. Those who drink or do drugs would likewise be executed. That should take care of the remaining 1%. Think of liberal women having to wear burkas and having to veil their faces in public. Or, walking several paces behind their husbands to show respect while in public. Or, being subject to honor killings or beatings at the whim of their husbands, actually their masters. I'll bet after a few weeks of this they will begin thinking that Republicans weren't half bad and maybe they shouldn't have destroyed the world's last best hope.

Anonymous said...

Here is the typical Obama supporter. Check it out if you can stand to face reality. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=381gFG4Crr8

Anonymous said...

RJ---I'm sorry. You need to get out of Memphis. I'd comment again but I realize that you're dealing with the two plus two is five gang. I love that group. They'll say, "Hey, it's my opinion! I can have my own opinion, can't I?"

No. Not on two plus two. Sorry.

I can't do it, Randy. The kind of ignorance that you have to deal with drains me. Blank faces at the Republican convention shouting drill baby drill. Jesus freaks who think that they know something and push their stupid heat around. Did you see today that our dear Sarah actually said that she thought her 1st Amendment rights were being challenged because the media was criticizing the way she was running her mouth on the campaign trail? Seriously. I just read it on the Huff Post.

All of them to Evangelaska. Or better, let the spaceships come and take them all to wherever it is they think they are supposed to go. Bye bye.

Can't do it, Randy. My face is hot even writing this.

Anonymous said...

So, judging from that video I guess the average black Obama supporter believes that he will pay all of their bills? No wonder he is so popular in the 'hood.

Anonymous said...

boy ya'll are some nasty motha fuckas.i want to see all ya'lls faces on wednesday morning.i hope mr. obama wins cuz if he doesn't we are all in trouble.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Boy! This is a real free for all out here! Everybody demonizing the other! Don't you know Sputnik wrote this blog mischeif night(the night before Holloween!) just to stir up the masses! Everyone knows you move toward the center the closer you get to election to win folks over...that is unless you want culture war hysteria! Guess whose laughing? Our bad boy Sputnik! I'm telling you..THIS IS BETTER THAN WRASSLEN'! Yahoo! I was confident when I voted in the Primary but to quote Dylan I was so much older then...I'm younger than that now! Who am I going to vote for? I'll get back with you on that one! The Best! SheckyKMcGirk P.S. Sireen! By all means regulate thy on self & may real country music live forever...not that Anti-Hank bullzgeshicte they play today!

autoegocrat said...

Where did all these crazy people come from? Some of the comments here are beyond absurd.

You must really be getting under their skin.

Father Farken said...

Randy! Another clever BAH!Way better than The Huff&Puffington Post! Sputnik my good friend! In a world full of sheep, you are the raging bull. Speaking of bull...all the Republican & Democratic campaigning will be ending soon! No more Rev. "Nah! Nah! Nah! GD America" Wright & That fat-arse preacher that endorsed McCane that looks like Boss Hawg & hates everybody that is not from America or pro Israel. No more Joe the Plumber & Wm. Ayers. No more Nazi & Socialist accusations. We'll go back to doing what we do best...calling each other sonsofbitches just like G*d attended us to do. I did noticed there are not too many sheep in this crowd...a very diverse group! I pray that all of you will Vote tomorrow...say a prayer & Vote your consciense & if you don't have a consciense...give it your best shot! When the election is over may we give our new president the respect that he deserves) & quit demonizing one another & start angelizing each other whether we deserve it or not! The Peace of the Lord to all as I go and piss! BLESSINGS!FrFarken

Anonymous said...

Jessie Jackson's mantra, 'Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho!, western civ has got to go!' has finally come to pass. Get a grip. It's going to be a wild and ultimately violent ride. Kiss your ass goodbye America. Your worst nightmares are fixing to crawl up your ass and have babies. There will be knife fights and crack dealers on the White House lawn every Saturday night to generate a little ghetto ambiance for the place. That will be just a taste of the changes that Obama has been talking about.

Anonymous said...

Think about this long and hard. What does it say about blacks as a people when it has been frequently predicted that if Obama loses they will burn the country down? Do they constitute a civilized people or a horde of blood-thirsty, looting savages? One prediction is that they are going to riot either way it turns out. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Is there a dominant gene for violence and thievery in their DNA?

Randy Haspel said...

Your apocalyptic Negro fantasies are growing wearisome. You really need to get out and make some black friends.

Anonymous said...

I worked with a black woman for a few years and she would tell me at least weekly that she hated everything white and any time anything did not go her way politically she would give me unmitigated hell just for being white. I would be afraid of having my house burned and looted if she, or any of her ilk, lived close to me. No thanks.

Anonymous said...

If Obama wins the presidency and the Democrats get a supermajority in Congress, America WILL become a full-blown socialist country. Here is the big question. How long will it take for America to become a totalitarian state from there? When economic freedom goes, so does individual freedom. The question is , how long will it take? How oppressive will the government become? Death squads in the night? Loss of due process? Will we be assigned our jobs by the government? Will we have to petition a government agency to be able to move? Will there be neighborhood government agents to make sure everyone is faithful to Big Brother, or else? How far will the totalitarian juggernaut run now that the process has begun in earnest?

Anonymous said...

Like Paul Newman used to say, "Don't go blaming all the dogs just because one's got fleas."

Father Farken said...

"Ocassionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart."
-Martin Luther King Jr.(fr. Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, 12/11,1964).
TODAY IS SUCH DAY! Blessings & the Peace of the Lord to all!
Father Ferghus Farken

Anonymous said...

Guess what boys and girls? The letter W will be displaced and soon the White House will be brought to you by the letter O! Will you be my...Will you be my...Will you be my nieghbor?

Anonymous said...

Ya'll can all BLOW ME now.HA HA HA, we won, you assholes. Too funny.Go America and assholes be damned.

Father Farken said...

To Brother Bigot Formerly Known as Anonymous. I beg you to listen to last night's gracious speech from John McCane and to our newly elected President Mr. President-elect Barak Obama's humble invitation for you to join him in renewing this great country we call the USA! Listen to those speeches by these two spectacular men and let their words mold character in your very soul! This country has some mighty big & exciting years ahead of it! We want you to be a part of it! The peace of the Lord to all & may G*d Bless America....from a former bigot me self known as Fr. Farken

Anonymous said...

"All glory is fleeting"