Monday, January 04, 2010

Flying By the Seat of Your Pants

It's wondrous how quickly the Transportation Security Administration leaps to the task of preventing an attempted act of terror that's already happened. First, the Shoe Bomber assured that the flying public would forever tiptoe through security in their stockinged feet, and then a couple of half-assed, bathtub chemists made certain you're not allowed  a bottle of water on a plane. Since the attempted destruction of a American  Northwest Airlines flight over Detroit, the press has dubbed the latest perp the "Underwear Bomber," though I much prefer the more accurately descriptive, "Taint Bomber." Following the TSA's logic, the next step is for everyone to fly naked. If these guys are always a step behind the terrorists, why do they call it "intelligence?" Now, before my octogenarian mother can pass through a security checkpoint, she first has to be patted down by an overly empowered high school dropout in a uniform.

The Taint Bomber, of course, hid explosives in his briefs, which malfunctioned, giving new meaning to the term Great Balls of Fire. Now, the cry is for the installation of full-body X-ray devices, which leave nothing unrevealed to the observer and fulfill every young boy's fantasy of being Superman. I could give a damn if some "professional screener" saw me in my underwear, but if I were a woman, I might be concerned that the man behind the curtain may be enjoying his job a little too much, especially if he is entrusted with the saved images that would be needed to provide any evidence to the authorities. The American public sheepishly goes along, tolerating any abuse for the illusion of safety. The new rule about not going to the bathroom during the last hour of a flight will certainly need to be revisited after passengers start peeing on the floor. And, no books? What the hell are you supposed to do on one of these flying disease incubators; meditate? If you did that, someone might mistake you for a religious extremist and the next thing you know, you're experiencing a full cavity search by a zealous teenager on a summer internship.



As terrible as the potential disaster on Christmas day may have been, the shameless exploitation of the terrorist action by the GOP, not to merely politicize the event, but attempt to fund-raise because of it, is repugnant. Say the word "hijacker" to a Republican, and like a Pavlovian response, they begin to salivate over the possibility of bashing the president over national security, especially the disgraced, future convicted felon, Dick Cheney. The now worst former vice president in American history issues missives from his cave that seem more intent in harming the president rather than preventing future attacks. In fact, Cheney and a handful of hawks almost seem to be wishing for a domestic cataclysm on Obama's watch so they can say, "See? We're not the only ones who allowed  an egregious lapse of security to cost American lives." I have come to the opinion, expressed frequently by commenters to these posts, that the Congress, on both sides of the aisle, are a bunch of whores (my Representative excepted). The difference is that the Republicans are particularly nasty and syphilitic whores, and thus a danger to the common good. The torture party's credibility on national security is shot and can't be restored by a "Democratic" airline disaster.

Who wants to endure the humiliation involved with airline travel anymore? This is why programs like high-speed rail are so important, not just to offer an alternative to the airline monopoly, but to ease the chaos at the airport and lesson the traffic on the highways. Want to know why we are light years behind the Europeans and Asians in the development of high-speed rail?: 50 years worth of congressional cash from the airlines, muscle from a corrupted Teamsters Union, and cheap gas, which strangled the railroads in their tracks, so to speak. I would much prefer riding in a 300 mph bullet train than spending the extra two hours of useless screening before being herded onto another austere and tension filled flight. The Madrid bombings proved that trains are as equally vulnerable to terrorist attack as planes, but if an explosive device detonates on my mode of transport, I'd rather already be on the ground than blown out of the sky.

The system in place should have prevented the latest violent Islamic extremist from boarding a flight in Amsterdam, but the system failed. The Obama administration, clearly flustered, attempted to explain that he was not on the "no fly list," but rather the "watch list" which contains half a million names. Bulletin: We have computers now, so rather than harassing millions of passengers at their point of origin, wouldn't it be wiser to invest more in computerized file sharing between the airlines, in conjunction with governmental security agencies? As it now exists, the TSA merely reacts, rather than project or predict, and the hands-on approach is only succeeding in infuriating passengers and disrupting air travel; exactly Al Qaeda's intentions. How difficult is it to punch up a prospective ticket buyer's name in a security database and insist on photo identification, rather than accept cash for a one-way ticket? The Taint Bomber made it through security undetected and someone must accept responsibility, but the real question is why was this known suspected jihadist, whose own father warned of his radical intentions, allowed to purchase a ticket on a domestic airliner in the first place?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Randy,
...with all due respect....it was a NW flight,not AA...kl

Sputnik57 said...

Noted and thanks,
RH

Cary W said...

I knew the terrorists had already won when we got busted by TSA for trying to carry on a jar of delicious olive salad at the New Orleans airport. Wonder which high school dropout got to enjoy that treat later that night?

I figured out a couple years ago that we would eventually arrive at an airport, enter a small cubicle, strip off all our clothes and be issued a paper robe to wear en route. We're almost there.

Anonymous said...

I was one of the morons who worked for TSA. In fact I flew this great country training the morons. Yep, I was a certified TSA training officer. And you are correct...they are a bunch of dummies. I was amazed at the power they were given and the abuse of power they were allowed.
When training international there was no sharing of info with customs. The flights would arrive from Amsterdam, huge luggage wrapped in saran wrap to prevent the bulging seams from popping, and these TSA morons would be focusing on some guy sneaking Cuban cigars in, while I pointed out the cigars were not their business but the gun next to the cigars was. One trainee insisted a ceramic teapot was a crack pipe.
No amount of super spy devices, invasive x-rays, pat-downs, and bag searches are going to help. Because the idiots doing the x-rays, pat-downs and searches will still focus on the cigar.
I no longer am affiliated with the devil TSA, it was good money, I stayed in great hotels and paid my house off in two years, but I could not continue to "dummy down" and train the untrainable.

davethedog said...

This is one of the last remnants of the Bush Administrations. The ruining of airplane transportation. Send a postcard to George W. with your thanks. How long, do you ask, will I be blaming everything on Bush? Let me think. He and the Republicans were blaming everything on Clinton until the end of his administration. So, probably about another 6 1/2 years. hehe

The worst thing about the new airline regulations is that people might not be able to "crotch" their weed.

Sorry guys (and gals).

HAPPY New Year!

Juan en Mexico said...

Hola, Randolphito,

I spend more time reading (mostly good books) than any other exercise. I can really turn pages pretty fast. Reading your BAH is the highlight of the week whenever I get one.

Today was especially a fun turn on. Laughed til I had to get kleenex to dry my eyes. Thanks for bringing pleasure to so many people.

To change subject slightly, when you mentioned your glorious Mother as an octogenarian, I thought NO WAY COULD SHE BE THAT OLD!!!!! Then reality hit!! In 3 years I will be also. Funny how young the eighties are now. Give that wonderful octogenarian a big hug from me, and another for the Melody.

All the best to you, Randy, and keep on bringing joy into our lives.

J

Anonymous said...

The answer is simple. Everything that the government touches turns to crap. This will be the case with health care. It will turn into an unmitigated disaster with ever decreasing quality and ever increasing expense. This will costs lives, mainly the elderly. But, the real tragedy in terms of lost lives is yet to come. The freakout is that the incredibly inept government is 'in charge of' (sick joke) our national defense. Just wait and see how this will play out. You are right, Congress is a whorehouse. The matter of which party is worse is a moot point since the country will soon be bankrupt due to massive graft and incompetence. We are perishing for want of statesmen who serve the people. The self-serving politician/ whores are running the ship of state into a reef in shark infested waters. In the end, we are all going to suffer at the hands of those criminals. And get over your fetish for the Demoncraps.

Anonymous said...

The TSA training officer now knows what most school teachers know. We are a country of poorly educated idiots who elect those who are their mental and moral equivalents.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't it Jimmy 'The Joke' Carter who gutted the American intelligence community? Or was it Bill 'Hungry Dick' Clinton? I know it was a Democrat. Only Democrats would be subversive enough to do a thing like that. After the Democrats castrated the intelligence community you have the gall to say that Bush dropped the ball when we were attacked after he had been in office for less that nine months. Everything is Bush's fault...cancer, tooth decay, bad breath, saggy balls, you name it. The truth of the matter is that the federal government is a criminal enterprise. It's a sure way to get rich and have a bridge named after you by screwing the folks who get up every day and actually work. The only reason that I would want to meet a politician of either whore party is to spit in his/her face. We have all been had. Wise up.

Anonymous said...

Here is something to look for in the future. Since the global warming ruse as an organizing principle to bring about world Marxism is not going to work, some think that the global Marxist cabal will go back to the global cooling ruse. It was tried for a while back in the 80's. Obama's Regulatory Czar John Holdren wrote a book in the 80's promoting this hoax, but temperatures started rising so they were forced to embrace the global warming bullshit. The Earth has been cooling for the past 10 years and it is predicted to continue to cool for a few more decades. Voile!! Gore and his fellow deceivers are expected by some observers to switch back to the global cooling ruse to continue their assault on freedom. Also, he is desperate to save his carbon trade-off business. I'm not saying that this will happen, it is just something to watch for. The bottom line is that the perps will have to come up with a new ruse to use as an organizing principle for global Marxism. A more immediate concern is what will happen after Obama and his far left accomplices bankrupt the country and preciptate a world-wide economic crisis. That may come about shortly.

Father Farken said...

Happy New Year to the BAH Community....and to the Blah Community as well from Father Farken. Love everybody in 2010! I went back to Memphisto to go to the Liberty Bowl with me whole Farken Family to cheer Farkensaw on to victory! We started off at the Barn to hear John Paul Keith @ the Liberty Bowl Party! They sang Carl, Cash, E, Chuck, Buddy, the 5 Royals....They were great!...then they threw me a cowboy hat my way and called me up to the stage....as Hank Farken Jr. I sang every country song I knew ...like... "Mama don't let your babies grow up to be Assholes"...then it went from "asshole" to "Al Qaeda"..."Let them be Catholic, Lutheran or Jew!" Which pissed off the Muslims and the Church of Christ(which seem to be like the Presbyterians except without the grace!) but put a big smile on Rabbi Lipschitz(the 's' is not silent). When I went to the Memphis Airport I ran into a problem! I was so high from being in Memphis I started singing the ol' rock-a-billy song "I've Got A Rocket In My Pocket & the fuse is lit!" When Security heard that they were all over me. They stripped me down to my briefs...uh me damn XXL Depends... when somebody yelled out UNDERWEAR BOMBER! Something I haven't heard since the time Bert's Chile backed up on me at the I-40 Waffle House! I was walking arroud like Baby Huey. They scared me so much I pissed in me pants which caused the Depend Boost Insert to blow up like a water baloon. Security dove to my crotch...the Depend Boost squirted in the air ...and exploded in mid-air. Which baptized all of us! "Well!", I sez! "We have all just been baptized. I guess we are all Pisscopalian! "Happy New Year! The peace of the Lord! Father Farken

Shecky Kierkegaard McGuirk said...

I was with Fr Farken at the Airport all decked out like Baby Hughie! It was not his best look! But the TSA did an exceptional job. They confiscated all of Fergus' miniatures of Irish Whiskey! Next time I'll take your advise....flying neked! SHECKY

in your dreams said...

Cheney will never, I repeat never be convicted of anything.

Anonymous said...

I am greatly encouraged that it has dawned on you that Congress, both sides of the aisle, are a bunch of self-serving whores. Hallelujah!!! The people be damned is their unspoken war cry. After they con us into voting for them, they laugh all the way to Capitol Hill to play their bogus games with our money. Now, the only point of contention is which party is constituted of the more cankerous and syphilitic whores. I submit that that is a moot point. Someone has observed that over time, regardless of which party is in control, the situation gets more pernicious for the ship of state. It seems to boil down to which party causes the ship of state to founder more quickly. That is a matter of point of view. Compare the degenerate Republican hypocrite Mark Sanford (Mr. Family Values) to Bill 'Hungry Dick' Clinton, who thought that his cigars tasted better after being plunged into Lewinsky's nook. Real classy guys, but they are typical of the type of slug that it attracted to politics. The list of depredations from the members of both parties is encyclopedic. We would do just as well putting Larry Flint or Charles Manson in office. I don't mind so much the fact that most of them are totally immoral pervs (Bawney Fwank likes to suck off the young congressional interns) as much as I care about them being sociopathic thieves and liars. The members of both parties should be guillotined as far as I am concerned. The only solution to the rampant corruption in politics may be term limits for everyone. The longer one of the trolls remain in office the more time he/she has to set up their network of graft. The bottom line is that America as a whole has become inconceivably corrupt. You may occasionally meet someone who has such integrity that they can't be corrupted, but I submit that that is the rare exception. Most people will whore themselves out for the right price...think Ben Nelson or the La. slut. Our politicians are just a mirror of the populace. The Founding Fathers said that no constitution would keep an immoral and corrupt people free. We are seeing the truth of that played out before our eyes.

Anonymous said...

Dylan had all of this figured out a long time ago. It's simple. He said that there is no truth outside the Gates of Eden. Case closed. Maybe they should play this song before every session of Congress to let the Prevaricator-In-Chief and his veracity- challenged cohorts know that we are on to them.

5 PT. FARKENEST said...

WAS DYLAN TALKING ABOUT THE MESSIANIC CONGREGATION IN PEORIO, IL?

Anonymous said...

Red alert!! I have been misguided. I have been thinking that the worst thing about government health care is that it would be increasingly inefficient with ever increasing expense, like everything else that the government touches. But, that will be the least of the problems associated with it. We have been led to believe that the motivation for government health care for everyone is compassion. Wrong!! Health care could have been provided with free market means in a much simpler and less cumbersome fashion. But, the issue is not compassion, it is control. The Marxist elites will monitor all of our health related behaviors (and they are countless) and punish all behaviors which they deem to have a negative impact on 'the collective'. That is why they want to centralize all health records. They can monitor not only our health status, but our behaviors. For instance, if you are found to be over weight (this costs the collective), they will use fines or taxes to 'nudge' you into more appropriate behaviors. When your weigh falls within the pre-determined range, the fines will be lifted. The examples of this sort of thing go ond on. For instance, gun ownership can be decared to be a health realated hazard. So could cheeseburgers. Bottom line, it is all about control of the choices of the individual. Individual freedom gets in the way of the goals of the collective. They are beginning (actually continuing) their program of control by fining people for not buying into the government health plan. If they can get away with that constititionally, they will use fines with impunity to control as many elements of our behavior which they deem to be harmful to the collective as possible. The individual and his freedom will be increasingly subservient to the state (collective). And, there is no end in sight when all of this kicks into gear. I assume that you know that making the individual subservient to the state is the actual goal of progressivism. Of course, this will all happen gradually, so as not to cause panic. Welcome to the world of Orwell's '1984'. Orwell just missed the date when his vision will take effect by a few decades. I hope that you liberals won't miss your freedom too much. Like they say, be careful about what you ask for, because you just might get it. One more thing, they won't stop with nationalizing health care. The takeover of the private sector and hence, our freedom, won't stop till they get it all. It looks like prison planet is heading our way. You may look whistfully back on the freedom we once enjoyed. Was it a progressive that said a sucker is born every minute? That sounds like an elitist thing to say.

Anonymous said...

Whether it is through weakness, ignorance, incompetence, or complicity (or all of the aforementioned) on the part of the Obama administration, the Islamic terrorists will be coming after us in an ever increasing manner. Ultimately, they know that Obama will not become nearly tough enough to deter them. Some think that Obama's passivity and unwise actions in the face of terrorism is intentional. Along with impending bankruptcy, terrorist attacks will help to further weaken America making Obama's ultimate goal achievable. We will come to the point where it will be unsafe to go the malls, restaurants, night clubs, or any public place for fear of bombings, much like the situation in Israel. The difference is that Israel is not hamstrung with political correctness and they have the wisdom and balls to protect themselves. Unfortunately for America, we do not. Hell is coming to America and liberal Democrats are in charge of our protection. Heaven help us, because the liberals won't. Maybe we can sic the fierce Allen Combs on the terrorists.

Anonymous said...

'Something is rotten in the state of Denmark'...Why would Obama amend Executive Order 12425 stealthily, in the dark, with no explanation of why he was doing it? And of course, the state run media is giving him cover by keeping quiet about it. This executive order gives the international police operation known as Interpol complete immunity from accountibility in reagrd to its operations in America. What would prompt Obama to place the Interpol above American law? I submit that it is a part of his globalist goals for America. He is implementing a stealth plan that is destructive to America bit by bit. The greatest mystery of all is that no one is stopping him. I guess America has resigned itself to death by suicide. It will be fascinating to see how the suicide plays out. I wonder how many will die before it is all over. I'll bet that when it gets really intense it will be tens of millions...whoppee!! Electing Obama amounted to signing our death warrant.

Anonymous said...

Here it comes!! The FDA is mandating a 25% reduction in salt content upon all food providers. After the government takes over our health care there will be countless mandates, etc. geared to 'shape' (force) our behavior. It will start off slowly and then gain momentum. Every individual behavior that is seen as having a negative impact upon the 'collective' will be under attack. This will spread to everything. We are just going to love the way that the Nanny State controls all of what used to be our private choices. I am sure that communism will be delightful. You guys asked for it and we are all going to get it!! We have morphed into the very thing that our Founding Fathers fled Europe and drew up our Constitution to avoid... a country with an oppressive and tyrannical central government. 'Obama, come wipe me. Socialism has weakened me to the point that I don't have the strength to wipe my own ass. Won't someone from the government please help me? Yes, dear. Someone from the Nanny State will be right over'.

SIREEN said...

What up Dawgnik? Dangit man! I hope you are having a blessed year so newly and all and tell that wifey I seh wazzup! Can you believe that Reverend friend of ours (FrFarken)flew into town and blew us off like we smell or something and I know you don't stank cause you be spritzing with that Polo Black or was that Blue or wasit that combination that makes me so black and blue and weak in the kitten....uh sorry wifey...I be spritzing with that Youf Dew so I know I don't stank like Lazarus' ass popping out of the grave come 4 days later! He just zooped into town long enough to piss everybody off..calling from the Liberty bowl Party and nobody could hear him...Hell I saw him more when he lived in New Jersey....now that he lives west of Nashville forget about it! He said he was an Abe Lincoln Republican/Harry Truman Democrat/right wing liberal/left wing conservative/Libertarian posing as an Independent sitting in the front row seats watching the circus! He maybe crazier than Anonny when it comes to politics...but the man can preach! Thank you Jesus! And thank you Randy for poking me with another fine provocative B A H ! Yes in deed! Taint nobody but Sireen!

Anonymous said...

'Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery'...Winston Churchill
Who will give aid to the suffering world after you Bolsheviks destroy America, the last best hope for mankind? Soon, we will all be doing slave labor in some gulag on prison planet. Why do you guys want to consign your progeny to such a fate? Once Obama bankrupts America, which will happen soon, it will be all over except the mindless screaming from the countless millions who will be suffering with no relief in sight. There will be no America to come to the aid of the suffering. America will just be another third world ghetto like every other country, looking for handouts which will never be forthcoming. There will only be the prospect of endless suffering, the legacy of Marxism. Thank a liberal for this coming state of affairs.

Anonymous said...

Obama realizes that the American people are catching on to him. He played his hand too fast. Now he realizes that he and his Marxist accomplices must speed up their work of destroying America. He only has about nine and a half months to pull it off, because dozens of Marxist Democrats will be run out of Congress in Nov. We can expect some big, manufactured crisis to occur before the Nov. election. He will make a desperate attempt to retain power at any cost, the country be damned. If he fails in regard to the destruction of America, his life work of reducing America to a ghetto will not be realized. It will be interesting to see if America can be saved for a little while longer. It is a race for time. I'll bet that you BAH-ers are getting nervous that your boy Obama may not get the job done.