Sunday, August 15, 2010

No, Canada!


When the seasons turn, imagine hordes of illegal aliens streaming across the U.S. border dressed in their bizarre native garb and speaking in a foreign tongue, straining our social services and imposing their criminal ethic on sovereign citizens legally in this country. It wouldn't be the first time illegal drugs and contraband flowed undetected over that border and into the lives of everyday Americans, along with the accompanying violence that's always part of the deal. It's a frightening thought to envision roving gangs of disaffected Quebecois, crossing the Canadian border on snowshoes and wearing toques, speaking crude French slang and overwhelming border towns like Buffalo and Rochester, hanging out in the parking lots of the Home Depots with huge snow shovels looking to clear someone's driveway and take a job from an American. And who can stand that whining music they listen to...Celine Dion and Bryan Adams?  During prohibition, our porous northern border was the gateway for Canadian hooch from the forerunners of the soul-stealing Seagram's empire, just as today it is the entry way for the demonic "B.C. Bud," and the Manitoba drug cartels. Their entertainers, from Alex Trebek to Howie Mandel have taken over youth culture and television, while alien seductresses like Pamela Anderson have corrupted the internets.

No wonder our economy is in the crapper when Canadians can smuggle their cheap, socialized, pharmaceuticals into our country and sell it for half the cost of the identical product here. Busloads of Canadians are trying to escape their evil, Marxist health care system to come over here and have lots of unnecessary tests performed in substandard hospital emergency rooms that serve the uninsured. There are even cabals of subversive comedians, led by Martin Short and Jim Carrey, that try to set the American standard for what's funny. Seeing Mr. Short in a fat suit playing a character named Jiminy Glick may have been humorous to some, but what of the family of 9/11, Flight #93 hero Jeremy Glick, whom Short was clearly mocking. Or, how about a Canuck, ex-con, beatnik like Tommy Chong, who has been attempting to pervert our youth for over 40 years. This Canadian invasion has reached a tipping point and true patriots want immediate governmental action to end this outrage. I demand that the fortifications protecting us from Canadian women sneaking into Detroit to have American babies become the President's top priority. I mean, isn't that why we built Fort Ticonderoga? The only good to come out of this breach in our northern border is the proliferation of Canadian restaurants and re-fried cuisine. And their work ethic, of course.

But when these illegals come into this country and take these rare jobs, what do they do? They don't spend it here. They send their money back home to support their families. This underage, risque singer, Justin Beiber, comes to this country unchaperoned, makes a fortune, and sends it right back to his people in some province called Ontario. If he gets sick on tour, he's got the best medical care the government can offer, and he doesn't even pay taxes in this country. Same thing with this hippie surfer Keanu Reeves, who portrayed an average American teen in the Bill & Ted movies, but then I discovered he was not only born in Lebanon, he starred as Prince Siddhartha/Lord Buddha in 1992's "Little Buddha." At least this Beatleboy Beiber pays taxes somewhere. For all we know, this "transplanted" Lebanese Canadian Reeves could be funding Al Qaeda with his Hollywood money. Plus, I heard he's part Hawaiian, so there's got to be something up with his birth certificate. Is it difficult to draw the conclusion that Reeves and rock-star sex therapist Pam Anderson will settle in California with the intention of raising "terror babies" that will automatically be American citizens, but grow up to be suicide bombers as Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert has suggested?  Is it just a coincidence that suspect leftist superstar moms are already raising North Vietnamese children? And why isn't Glen Beck on top of this?

That's why I'm so grateful to the group of Republican senators who so revere our Constitution, that they are always prepared to change it in order to stop what S.C. Sen. Lindsey Graham calls the policy of "Drop and Leave." These Canadian women will squat in the bushes like Sacajawea just to have an "anchor baby" that leads them onto the fast track for welfare. Senators Kyl of Texas, Kentucky's McConnell, Iowa's Grassley, and since it's an election year, John McCain, have all called for a "review" and potential revocation of the 14th Amendment which grants American citizenship to those born within our borders, including all those rosy-cheeked offspring of Canadian skaters who have come to dominate the National Hockey League and take jobs away from thousands of aspiring American hockey legends. The tough thing about repealing the 14th Amendment, is that it also deals with that "equal protection under the law" business. In these turbulent times, however, perhaps "equal" protection is a little too much for the Mexicans and Muslims to expect. It takes a trained eye to spot a Canadian. The best way is to drop a hockey puck in a crowd and see who dives for it.

Ginning up bloodlust, immigrant xenophobia failed to work for the Republicans the last election cycle, and it will fail again this time. There are better ways to solve our border issues than savage demagoguery about beheadings and kidnappings when the non-partisan Pew Research Center reports an all time high in arrests and deportation of undocumented workers. Right-wing candidates for office have offered solutions as varied as internment camps to mass deportation, while most people still come here illegally because they know there are employers who will hire them for more than they can make at home, be it in Alberta or Mazatlan. Americans have forgotten the struggles of Cesar Chavez and his United Farm Workers, or politicians like Bobby Kennedy who championed not only their cause, but their dignity. It's easier to call them all drug mules or arms smugglers than people just trying to scrape by on this earth with their hands. Wouldn't it be weird if one day we found out that God was really on Mexico's side all along and that the theory of "Manifest Destiny" actually pertained to them, and that's why they are this nation's fastest growing demographic? When Latinos become the country's majority, we'll let them deal with this encroaching Canadianization of the good old U.S.of A.

A Haspel Hat Tip to Kennedy Award Winner Bill Day for his cartoon.

71 comments:

Sally said...

And a Haspel Hat tip as well for not only the Bill Day Cartoons, but the way in which Haspel uses his glib tongue in cheek to get his point across. Best writing yet, Randal.

Blujay said...

I say we nuke 'em!

Cousin Cliff said...

It's not the immigration, its the illegal immigration, and the somewhat new trend against assimilation, that have most upset. This nation was built through legal immigration and assimilation into our great melting pot. Birthright citizenship added to the Constitution in the 14th Amendment to deal with the citizenship rights of slaves, not illegal immigrants. I would be happy to see that amended so that only those born here to US citizens or legal residents become citizens by birth. That would actually put us in line with most of the rest of the world.

Anonymous said...

At least Sputnik's cousin has some sense. Cliff, why don't you educate cousin Sputnik? Apparently everyone but Sputnik knows the facts that you laid out. And, you have the wisdom and common sense to present the matter in an intelligent and constructive manner. Please post here more often. This blog is extremely deficient in wisdom, common sense, and balance. You are a welcome breath of fresh air in this regard.

Anonymous said...

Anyone with a grain of sense knows that the fundamental problem in regard to immigration is not xenophobia. Sputnik is just playing the race/culture card to generate an emotional response and to fan the flames of division in regard to this issue. This commentary presents a very cheap shot in regard to the problem of illegal immigration, but is standard fare from rabid, bomb-throwing liberals. Can't you think of a more realistic, rational, and constructive way to address the problem? Cliff sure did. Of course, Sputnik's zombies will raise the chorus of,"Yup,yup. Right again as usual, Sputnik", without bothering to interject anything that smacks of serious reflection in regard to what has been said. But, what do you expect from the products of government education?

Anonymous said...

I have an idea that would amount to an acid test in regard to Sputnik's opinions on the illegal immigration problem. Why not go to Phoenix and pass out copies of this commentary to the citizenry. Tell them to chill, because they are nothing but xenophobes and don't have a true grasp of the situation. Better yet, get on a soap box with a microphone and spew this blather all over town. Then, have the authorities send your remains back to Memphis. An even better idea would be for Sputnik to buy some acreage near the Mexican border and live there for a few years. That might interject some reality into his experience. He would then be better equipped to distinguish xenophobia from what is really going on down there and write more sensible articles on the subject in the future. But, he would never consider doing anything that would require him to be intellectually honest. Just like he would never consider going to any Tea Party meetings to find out what really goes on there. Reality would spoil his fun as a muckraker and yellow journalist.

Blujay said...

Boy, Sput, when you sting 'em, they sure do squawk, don't they!?
And, did someone say "acid test?" Gotta dig that, Randolph!

Anonymous said...

So many of your writings ooze comtempt and loathing for America. Did you acquire this from your parents? Did you have a tragic home life? You appear to be a person of privilege. What in the world happened to sour you so on your own country and its heritage? It is such a shame.

Alan said...

Just for clarification, Sandra Bullock was born in Virginia and raised in Alabama! The Blind Side was filmed in Atlanta not New Orleans. I only point this out to show how both sides play fast and loose with the facts of any argument they make. The Canadians who come here for health care, bring their money with them. Cousin Cliff lives in Dallas and has a better feel of the problem than someone from Memphis.

Christophe said...

In any event, considering that California, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Texas were all invaded and stolen from Mexico in the 1830s and 1840s(The Alamo fable is entirely propaganda,just read an objective history of the rip-off) i don't know what people in the U.S. are griping about. Who th fuck are the real wetbacks? The Mexicans have always been there. And will continue to be there, whether a bunch of turkeys like it or not.

Alan said...

I sent this in an Email to Randy and would like to share it here. I have known Randy all my life, literally. Randy is not a Marist, Socialist or Communist. His Father served in WWII if my memory is right and was a president of the local Reform Temple. His Sister has run the local Food Bank for 15+ years. Randy is a musician and writer, but has never held a job other than music or writing. This does not excuse his views but should explain it. White Guilt is a terrible burden for someone who has been given everything.

Blujay said...

Oh dear, Sputnik, it looks like you've been discovered by the teabaggers!

ghg said...

RJ--Your words are becoming so incisive that they rip the air as they fly between the computer screen and my eyes and the air bleeds.

Yikes!

Sputnik57 said...

Please pardon my glaring error about Sandra Bullock. I don't know where that mistaken bit of geography came from, but my Flyer editor caught it in time for me to rapidly change the reference to geniune Canadian, Pam Anderson. I wasn't playing fast & loose, I just made a mistake.
Alan, it is unecessary for you to delve into my personal life on a public post, or as they say, put my business in the street. I know your secrets as well and this is not the first time I've asked you to refrain. And I don't bear any white guilt, just compassion for those who are destitute because of an accident of birth.
Cousin Cliff, the great melting pot came into being because an open immigration policy existed until 1924. Basically, if our ancestors were able to buy a boat ticket and came through Ellis Island, they were admitted. Today's policy allows work visas for Indian doctors to come to this country, but retricts Mexican day laborers. I agree about the dire need of reformation. I'm pointing out that there is a fear factor being pushed by politicians that should know better. Once, it was the Jews.

Anonymous said...

Alan, thanks for confirming some of my suspicions about Sputnik. If I read enough of a man's writings, I can usually intuit certain things about the man. I won't elaborate further, because I try never to disparage a man's sense of self worth. I enjoy critiquing Sputnik's commentaries, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. The one thing that surprised me was your saying that Sputnik is not a socialist. I can believe that he is not a classical Marxist, because there are not many of them left. Most hold modified views, such as those who have been influenced by Antonio Gramsci. I would be willing to bet that Sputnik places himself somewhere on the socialist spectrum. Maybe he would call himself a re-distributionist progressive, but a socialist by any other name is still a socialist. One thing that I feel sure of is that he is not a proponent of free-market capitalism and of the American Constitution. He seems to hold deep grudges against the original vision of America...the Founding Fathers, the Constitution, etc. He is consumed by the race issue and seems to hold a grudge against America because of it. It colors everything that he sees. Slavery was a grievous sin as was the subsequent treatment of blacks, but restitution has been and is being made. He does seem to be a victim of guilt and of self-loathing because he is a white man...one of the perps. People like this seem to want to give the country away to make amends..."Out damned spot!" He can't seem to appreciate that America has come a long way since Jim Crow and is still attempting to create a level playing field. Unforgiveness and guilt are spiritual cancers and these seems to consume him. He seems to want to trash America in toto and put something else in its place. George Soros and Obama sure want to do that.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that prejudice has anything to do with the immigration situation in most people's minds. Like Cliff said, the crux of the matter is legal vs illegal immigration. The southwest in particular has long had hispanic immigrants and most of them have assimilated quite nicely for many years. But, there is a trend away from assimilation and this presents the problem of a divided America. Do you really think that Arizonans are consumed with prejudice? I will submit that they are most concerned with lawlessness. Like I said earlier, buy a house and some property near the border and maybe your thinking will change. Phoenix has been full of legal hispanics for many years and there is no problem in their regard. It is the illegals and the crime that is the biggest concern. Must you always push the agenda of racism, prejudice, and bigotry? Can't the problem lie in another domain? Yes, it can. But, you refuse to see this, because you are subconsciously driven by a mind set of race and bigotry and this is the lens through which you view the world. So, all of your conclusions revolve around these convictions. You bend, twist, and spin to make it so. EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT RACE IN YOUR WORLD. This is a type of mental sickness. I have never seen anything like it till I started reading your commentaries and I have lived my whole life in the South. At least Cliff and Alan demonstrate some rationality and balance in reagrd to this issue. I wish that they would post here more often. I feel that I could learn something of value from them.

Primary Al said...

Y'all stop habitually trying to turn a "born-again-hippie" site into a site like a thousand other ridiculously repetitive, way-gut wrenching, old hat, serious political sites-controlled by constipated concrete rationalists with a clear narrow agenda, and no real friends, (the asshole bringing up the fact that you misspelled a word or should have behaved in 3rd grade when we were conjugating sentences.)

And to those, who still ride the concrete universe: "You didn't have to COMPLETELY avoid or stop partaking of the blessed plant, just because your paid Pastor and Choir director have vowed this or that.

Help: "If you tend to think in black and white...the stuff is as good and decent an antidepressant as the one you are taking now (or should be) It is the most curiously,vehemently suppressed drug known to man, due to the fact that it is the most beneficial, natural, non toxic medicine on the planet.

Now:
The wholesale handing to, painfully contorted English talking ("Lerrrge-Cooake-Pleedze")gang-prone Canadians, the unfettered subsidized freedom to enter the Us, is a small price to pay for the ongoing possibility of "The Band" reuniting, after the kids have grown, and band members are rudely presented with "The Wailing Wall of Unbearable Meaninglessness" driving them, like so many of us, back to the lesser of two evils -musical fellowship on stage and "just a little taste" -for restoration of sanity.

PS: Let alone assurances of another series of tours with Joni and Neil and Neil...No matter what condition they are in.

On that Stanza, the rule I wish to establish is -when Keith Richards dies...I mean...really-dead-dies, then each humbly resurrected hippie band-member can begin calculating from the Richards/Abuse/Axis the approximate year their final musical exit becomes truly appropriate.

Aside; "All you need is love"... Sounds awfully scriptural. I'll spend a few hours and see if I can locate that one. I'll probably need a Scohfield reference program, but I'll find it.

-Piss-off anonymous.

Anonymous said...

It used to be said back in hippie days that those who took LSD never ever completely come down after the experience. Gregg, I believe that you are a living testimony to that saying.

Primary Al said...

This site tells you your post is too long and then posts it after 3 more attempts at shortening, ...it then, posts all four attempts. sorry folks.

Anonymous said...

You seem to believe that people are destitute because of an 'accident' of birth. Do you not believe in God? Maybe your argument is with God and is not political at all. After all, He did say that we will have the poor with us always and He produced this entire cosmic scene. There are several billion people in the world who live in poverty. Are they all accidents? Would justice be better served if we allowed 2-3 billion or so people to come to America? Maybe we could accomodate all of South America, Central America, and Mexico to start with. That would break us in easy before we invite all of Africa and most of Asia. Some progressives actually want the developed nations to fund the entire third world. And, America and Europe are bankrupt! Better go back to the drawing board. To assuage your sense of compassion for the poor, why don't you put your time and energy where your mouth is and become a secular missionary to the third world. That would be more productive than constantly accusing Americans of being stingy.

Anonymous said...

My whole family was destitute and an accident of providence, according to your view. My dad was the son of a rural day laborer and a high school drop-out. My mom was the proverbial poor farmer's daughter. When they married my dad made most of their furniture from wooden crates. They could only afford one wedding ring and that was given to my mother and it did not contain diamonds. They couldn't afford a ring for my father until after he returned from WWII twelve years later. After my parents moved to the city, my dad took a job as an auto parts clerk and supplemented his income by manually setting pins at a bowling alley at night. When we all piled into our very used car we resembled folks from the 'Grapes of Wrath'. A coke was a rare treat. My mom would sit up with my dad at night and teach him grammar and English so that he could fulfill his dream of being a salesman. He started out his sales career knocking on farmer's doors selling plow points, and wept at night for fear of not being able to feed his family. Through hard work we were eventually lifted out of poverty, but not by much. In high school I owned three changes of clothes and received $5 of allowance from which my lunch had to come. My brother and I did manage to get college degrees and were able to live a better life materially than my parents. I was not a child of privilege and that colors my world view. I am glad that we were never the victims of liberal largesse. We became better people for it.

Anonymous said...

Primary Al, I agree with you on your position on weed. But, you do not seem to be very inclusive. How illiberal of you. Is there no place for the anonymouses of the world in your personal universe? You can be in my dream if I can be in yours. What happened to your hipness?

kwk said...

A population density map of Canada indicates everyone who lives there seems to be trying to snuggle up to the U.S. of A. as closely as possible. A military person might conclude this indicates that they are massing troops for an invasion!

If so, then our best bet is to preempt such action, that is, invade Canada first! There are many advantages to this: such war would be much cheaper than those overseas conflicts we seem to always be involving ourselves in and there is good chance that we might win such a war. We could then annex say the southern-most 20% of the country and let them keep (and move to) the rest.

On another note: here in the United States blacks are oft-times referred to as "African-Americans"; in Canada are blacks called "African-Canadians"? Would it be racist to call them "African-Canucks"?

Anonymous said...

Destitute people are all an accident of birth? Are you saying that the poverty problem can be traced back to the fact that the poor can only afford defective condoms? According to your world view the sovereign God has made lots and lots of mistakes. Anyone who is born into poverty represents an accident that can only be rectified by government programs. Your compassion may exceed our government's capacity to fill the poverty hole. All liberals will accomplish is to make everyone a pauper. The life boat is on the verge of being swamped. Your position sounds like the fuel that feeds the fire of class warfare. One of the most compassionate things that we can do is to reduce the quantity of honey that draws the bees. Shut off welfare to illegals and most of the border problem will disappear. Keep on providing the honey and a perpetual conveyor belt of illegals will inundate us from South and Central America and Mexico. Most people who think clearly can see that this is a formula for diaster. After America and Europe are sunk who will provide for the poor? The Russians? The Chinese? The poor are more likely to face genocide from these bastions of civil rights.

HappyPappy said...

Sputnik strikes another blow for insight and wit! I love how the Dittoheads squeal! Good job, Guitar Man.

Anonymous said...

In a sense we are all 'accidents of birth'. There are great disparities in the distribution of intelligence, apptitudes, abilities, and the drive to make constructive use of these God given attributes. That being the case, is it government's role to make up for all of God's supposed blunders which create these inequalities? If so, no wonder the government is bankrupting us with all of its efforts to undo all of the harm that God has caused by His blunders. Another perhaps more fruitful approach might be to encourage everyone to make maximum use of what he has been given and to learn to apply the principles of prosperity . My biggest beef with liberalism is that it tends to weaken the human spirit and make it more dependent. I have faith in the human spirit's inborn capacity to overcome if the right circumstances are afforded it. I just can't bring myself to believe that God created a majority of mankind to fail. I believe that lots of the failures are manufactured by man's misguided attempts to rectify the situation by ineffectual means. You know the saying, 'Give a man a fish, etc.' I think that a great deal of poverty is due to not following this folksy wisdom, and by not doing the things that strengthen the human spirit thereby allowing it to stand on its own. That is why I said that I am glad that the government kept its misguided hands off of our family's poverty. We all became stronger because of it. If I were to grow up in this age of the safety net I might have become a weakling in need of massive amounts of government aide. Using the liberals reasoning there would be no great athletes. They would be so concerned about the possiblity of injury and the cruelty of hard workouts in the hot sun, etc. that our athletes would be nothing more than weaklings like everyone else that the government tries to 'help'.

Drew said...

Why would anyone of such great knowledge and perception wish to remain anonymous? Sarcasm aside, it's easy to bombast inanely when no one knows who you are.
And now for something completely different.
I was at a post-parade function at the time SCTV was very popular. A marching band from Alberta was participating, and all us southern boys were laughing because the band members all talked like Doug and Bob McKenzie.

HappyPappy said...

The point of Sputy's column was that Canadians, because they are white, will not be stopped on any American street and be asked to show their 'papers'. Many are illegals and move freely in this country. The xenophobia is directed against Mexican-Americans. I also fail to understand Alan's point about Sputy's musical and writing career as somehow explaining his political perceptions, as if he is somehow disqualified. He speaks for me, and I'm in business, working 9-5 plus+ hours. I wouldn't disqualify Ted Nugent, right-winger, for his opinions because he's a musician. Sputy's talent as a writer far exceeds any columnist in the main stream press that I've ever read.

Blujay said...

OK, enough with the Mexicans and Canadians. Let's jump on those zany muslims trying to build something on their own property in America, of all places---what's up with that!?

Godfather said...

It is time for anonymous to start his own blog. His acrid criticism of Randy has gone past real comment, and now questions his upbringing. I suggest he tell of his rise from poverty and his religious views somewhere
else. I REALLY have known Randy all of his life, am his Godfather, his uncle, and the father of Cousin Cliff.

Alan said...

I was not disqualifying Randy because he is a Musician and Writer. In the late 70’s Randy and the Radiants were signed to a recording studio I was a major owner of. I am COB of a family business started in 1912 by my Grandfather. Through the Generations we increased the size of the company and the 4th Generation, my son, nephew and cousin’s son-in-law run the business now. When we expand it is our signature on the note to the bank. All the risk of growing the business is on our family. We employ over 120 with a profit sharing plan, 401k program, medical coverage and above average pay for our industry. We are a union shop and have never suffered a strike. I just feel I can do a better job with my money than the government can.

I said before I am a Born Again Hippie Capitalist. There are a lot more of us than you think. We still hold onto most of the ideals of the era. We think the best solution is to encourage more entrepreneurship. The economic problems were caused by the government( Fannie May & Freddie Mac) Wall Street and Major Corporations. Who has gotten all the help from the Government? Fannie May & Freddie Mac Wall Street, Unions and Major Corporations. The only real help small business has been offered by the administration is to do away with capital gains for small business. The only way this helps is when you sell your business, then it becomes a capital gain, and a major Corp may have gotten larger. What all the regulations of the healthcare and financial bills will do is make it harder for the Mom & Pops to compete with the Wal-Marts and other major corp.

Someone has worked for a company for years. The owner wants to retire. He or She decides to sell to an employee. The price is $150,000 a year. The new owner makes a profit of $300,000. He cannot deduct the $150.000 he pays the previous owner from his taxes, so he is taxed at the $300,000 rate. His net is $150,000 out of which he must finance inventory and any expansion he wants to do. Let’s say his effective tax rate is 25% for the feds and state. That is $75,000 in taxes. For taking all the risk of ownership and all the extra time required as owner the net disposal income is $75,000. I said before that he must expand and pay for inventory out of his $75,000. This is what happens when the Government tries to run everything.

Anonymous said...

Response To Alan's profit analysis. Alan, you're a little off on your profit/tax explanation. I'm sure not an accountant, but have owned several small businesses. First, when you buy a company, you're buying equity, and therefore the monies paid whether in lump sum, stock, or payments, is not a legitimate deduction because it's not really an expense; it's increasing your net worth through ownership. Next, profit, and gross profit are very different. What you mentoned about buying inventory, etc, comes out of your gross profit, thus what you spend in the course of doing business are expenses, and this leaves you with a NET PROFIT. This is what you actually WOULD pay taxes on if you weren't lucky enough to have a half-smart accountant, and lot of tax-loss carry forwards..
Also, I personally know who Mr. anonymous is, CAUSE I POPPED HIS MOM!

Z

HappyPappy said...

I really don't understand what Alan is harping about. Ok, he inheireted a family business, but he calls himself an entrepaneur. I started my OWN business and I struggle to keep it going, no help from daddy, Mr. Big Entrepaneur Hippie-Capitalist. Sputy didn't have your advantages either. Are you suggesting that Sputy is NOT a self-employed businessman himself? You might want to try it yourself someday and learn how to arrange payment to yourself, bandmembers, collect from gigs, pay your taxes and support a family...all from scratch. We all know what it is like to deal with Uncle Sam. But what has that to do with Sputy's belief in standing up against oppression and fighting for civil rights and human rights. THAT'S why I love his writing. He has compassion and a sense of justice that seems to be missing these days. I look forward to every one of his columns because he stands for something good and just. Maybe you should try that someday too. You are a fraud.

Benjamin Graham said...

What's wrong with Alan's accounting?

I assume that the business has working capital in the first place, to finance the cost of inventory and overhead for the previous (and/or current) operating year.

He said he realizes a GROSS profit of $300,000 in the current year, assuming that is after all deductions. So that, then, is the taxable income of his business.

25% of that $300,000 is $75,000, the tax paid on the GROSS profit. That leaves $225,000 NET profit after taxes.

Then he has to pay the previous owner, or debt service on a loan, or whatever the arrangement is, $150,000, against the purchase price of the business, out of that NET profit.

$225K - $150K leaves you with.... $75,000, the net addition to working capital, to finance expansion, after all taxes and debt service is paid.

Anyway, I don't see any flaw in Alan's arithmetic.

On the other matter... does that make Anonymous to actually be... Anonymous, Jr.?

Alan said...

Happypappy
I have more faith in my fellow man than the Government. I said my Ideals are the same as when I was a full blown hippie. You and I just differ on the best way to achieve those Ideals. I trust my fellow humans to solve our nations problems and you trust the Government. My fear is in too much power whether it comes from the right or left. What I have seen from the new Obama Left is the total abandonment of the questioning the Government. In the 60's Hippies questioned all government power Right,Goldwater and Left, Johnson.

HappyPappy said...

I do not trust the 'government', certainly not Arizona's state government, nor Bush's government. I do trust courageous people like Sputy to stand up against wrong-doing, whoever might be doing it.

Bill Day said...

My thanks to Randy and Sally for your kind words. A spirited blog!

Anonymous said...

Alan, you make too much sense for the participants of this blog. A better name for the blog might be 'Irrationality City'. Any one with a grain of wisdom or common sense is fighting a losing battle here. But keep on sharing your sanity here. At least I appreciate it and actually learn something from your insights. The beginning of wisdom, aside from respect for God, is to distrust governmental power and to stand against the crazy excesses of both liberalism and conservatism. If one holds to the middle he can choose the best from both ideologies and avoid the extremism from either the looney left or the rabid right. Why don't you consider starting your own blog? You apparently have a world of common sense and that is such a breath of fresh air.

Anonymous said...

Godfather, I am becoming a fan of your son, Cousin Cliff. I wish that he would post more. I usually learn something from what he has to say. My major beef with Sputnik is his lack of balance, not his compassion and respect for human rights. Cliff doesn't seem to suffer from balance problems. That is why I look forward to what he has to say.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous (4:08 PM), you are a real classy guy. I haven't heard such profundity since middle school. Please keep revealing the contents of your immature, twisted mind. Most of the people who make comments about fucking someone's mother are about as low on the humanity scale as you can get. But, maybe you had a troubled childhood. It is usually true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so I will overlook your puerile barbarity.

Anonymous said...

Drew, your name means nothing to me. Nor do the names of anyone else on this blog. If I told you my name, it would mean nothing to you, because I live a long way from Memphis. I lived there for a few years many years ago and currently know no one there. Would it make you feel better if I called myself Chucky Cheese? Would that make my inane comments more 'ane'?

Anonymous said...

HappyPappy, I am just curious. Why would you slam a guy like Alan by calling him a fraud. Talk about mean spirited. Alan has always conducted himself on this blog with maturity, dignity, and a profound sense of balance. What could provoke such a response from you? I could understand if you treated me that way, but not Alan.

Sputnik57 said...

Dear Mr. Fair & Balanced Anonymous,
How many times do I have to explain to you that this is an opinion blog. I have no intention of being fair and balanced, like your Fox News, which just donated one million dollars to the Republicans Governors PAC. Can you imagine the outcry if NBC gave a mil to the DNC?
Why don't you just accept that I'm right and you're wrong and retreat to your survivalist bunker. I wouldn't want to live my life with the accumulated bile you've saved and continue to bring up like acid reflux. The most amazing thing is how you are so eaten up with your "ideology" that you fail to realize that this piece was supposed to be funny.
This country is changing and you need to get on board and change with it, or continue to be a luddite, know-nothing.
Man up and pay your fucking taxes.

Happy Pappy said...

Anonymous, just as I was contemplating an apology, Sputy offered his comment, and I reread a number of your and Alan's remarks. Fraud might be a little extreme, so I'll offer to tone down my word choices. What I find offensive is the assumption that those who offer a different point of view than yours and Alan's are somehow poor business/men/women. The constant red-baiting (he and his ilk are always socialists) is intended to portray Sputy as out of touch with the way capitalism works. The implication also being that his perspective tamps down the entrepreneurial spirit that is the heartbeat of American progress. This is completely incorrect, for Sputy shows great entrepreneurial imagination in his creation of this blog, his writing, his humor, and his music. Alan considers himself the embodiment of the 'Born-Again Hippie Capitalist' when, in fact, he is no such thing. He is the heir to the hard work of his grandfather. Such dilettantes were common in the 60's and 70's, considering themselves 'hippies' when we all knew they were only playing the cool role and would return to being part of the problem later in life. Sputy asks him to keep his personal history out of the comment section and he blithely ignores his request. You guys remind me of all the retired old farts who criticized us and our activism in our youth. Sputy just never got old like you and turned reactionary. He didn't forget, and he has stayed young at heart and true to his ideals. God bless him.

Anonymous said...

There you go again...luddite, no-nothing. Like I have said, you have a balance problem and that is my only beef. The fact that you are a liberal is no issue. There are a number of sane, balanced liberals that I listen to and learn from. When I hear truth I accept it, even if it is from the liberal camp. In fact, I get excited and hopeful when I hear a liberal speaking truth. I am not the ideologue that you accuse me of being. My problem is that I am too conservative for liberals and too liberal for conservatives. I take truth wherever I find it. Currently, I am to the right of middle, but that can change (for instance, I recently resigned form my local Tea Party). After all I stared out as a liberal. I react to the extremity of your views and that many of them are not founded in facts. For instance, if you had bothered to go to a few Tea Party meetings and reported on the things that you actually saw and heard which were racist, etc. I would have kept my mouth shut. Another thing, I have never disagreed with anything that I have heard from Cousin Cliff, Alan, Father Farken, and a few others on this blog. I have no beef with moderate liberals...just the rads. And finally, you run a good show here. It is a blast sparring with you guys. Everyone has an opinion and a point of view. Who cares if someone doesn't agree with you? Don't take the game so seriously. I sure don't. Like I said before, I just like to spar with ideas. By the way, I have always paid my taxes. Like lots of folks I just hate to see the money rat-holed. Upwards of 50% of it is.

Chucky Cheese said...

HappyPappy, business is not my forte. I will have to let Alan respond to you on this one. But, so what if he inherited a business? Does that disqualify him from relating the insights he has gained from his experiences? You seem to imply that because he is a business man that he is part of the 'problem'? What problem are you talking about? The world is a big place and can (or should) accomodate all of us. How come liberals extol the blessings of diversity and then turn around and slam anyone who has divergent experiences and ideas? There seems to be an inconsistency there. Finally, Alan says that he has retained many of his ideals from the hippie era and that he just has a different idea in regard to implementing them. Is that a basis for completely writing him off? Where is your spirit of tolerance and inclusivity? You make him out to be a complete cop out. What did he say that causes you to take such a dim view of him? It makes you appear to be an imbalanced extremist. I would like to hear some thoughts from both Alan and Cousin Cliff.

HappyPappy said...

FOX 'News', donated $1,000,000,000.00 to the Republican Governor's PAC? YIKES!

Anonymous said...

"Why don't you just accept that I am right and you are wrong and retreat to your survivalist bunker". That is hyperbolic at the best and middle-schoolist at the worst. Were you doing the church lady victory dance and chanting, "Nanny, nanny, boo boo"? Every time that you retort you reinforce my contention that you have a balance problem. You should get together with Alan and let him help you to become more balanced and credible. I am only trying to help you to become a more competent journalist. You are bright enough and educated enough to affect changes in regard to the views of some moderate conservatives, but your whacky, radical delivery undermines you and causes many, I am sure, to discount you as a serious journalist. None the less, you are fun to spar with.

Happy Pappy said...

And why is it when WE fight back against rightwing intolerance, WE are the ones being intolerant? Are we suppose to just let it ride and say nothing? Also, I'm sure Alan is a good businessman and since he's never had a strike at his company and his workers have a 401k, he has displayed some social awareness, so all is not lost. Good going on that part, Alan.

Blujay said...

With $1mm donation to the GOP, Uncle Rupert has at least lowered his veil of hypocrisy somewhat, and now Fox Noise can spew its propagandist venom without the laughable pretext of "fair and balanced."

Anonymous said...

On second thought, you have implied that you have no intention of being fair, balanced or truthful. At least you are honest about that. That is your prerogative, so rave on. I will try my best not to bring these issues up again.

Anonymous said...

Alan, HappyPappy threw you a fish. I take that as extending an olive branch to you. Thank goodness that he is cooling down and becoming rational, or was it Prozac? If so, stick with your meds. You make much better sense when you are not frothing at the mouth.

Blujay said...

Now, children...

Happy Pappy said...

Anonymous, why insult by using the sly insinuation that I take Prozac or that I'm foaming at the mouth? Neither is the case and my only purpose is to tell Alan that because Sputy never held a 'job', that he has in fact, held many self-employed jobs and he is as well qualified to give his opinion as you or Alan. I am quite rational, only annoyed by your tricks, and they are many. Sputy stands up against injustice and there should be more people like him.

Anonymous said...

HappyPappy, now you are speaking clearly and I agree with you. I certainly don't fault Sputnik's heart for the downtrodden. Like Alan, I have different ideas about how to help people. I experimented a lot with helping kids in class and learned a lot by getting burned. This type of experience made me more conservative in my approach to helping folks. I apologize for being a smartass. Part of my acrid delivery has to do with my perverse sense of humor. Believe it or not, I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Sometimes I just get carried away and perhaps step over the line. I am actually soft-hearted and have even shed tears when I hear of personal tragedies on tv...that may be hard for you to believe, but it is true. I feel sure that someone will rip my ass for saying that.

Happy Pappy said...

Well, Anonymous, it is nice to hear there is a heart underneath that though hide. I wouldn't want Sputy any less forceful in his opinions. I look to him to speak out against great injustices and I think he does it well, and with wit and humor. When others have given up and sold their beliefs, he has remained true.

A Voice In The Wilderness said...

The good news is that lots of Democrats will be unseated in Nov. The bad news is that Republicans will take their place. The Republicans will remain in office long enough to alienate everyone and then the Dems will take over again. Meanwhile America continues its death spiral. Politicians collectively constitute a cancer upon humanity. The prognosis is fatal.

A Voice In The Wilderness said...

Turning and turning in the widening gyre the falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, the blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity...
The darkness drops again but now I know that twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, and
what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born.

Jonesy The Prophet said...

Suckers!! We have all been had by the frothy-mouthed bullshit that drips from the lips of politicians. This is world history in a nut shell. While you play the Donkeys vs. Elephants game, the people get screwed. They are Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum and you dance to their tune. Where do wars come from? Politicians. Where do depressions come from? Politicians. Where do the vast majority of the ills of mankind come from? Politicians. Who murdered Jesus and continues to murder the best of humanity? Politicians. Tell the truth and you get murdered, either figuratively or literally by whom? Politicians. Keep playing their game, whether Democrat or Republican, as you drown. Political office is a magnet for the gutter of humanity and you grovel at their feet. Suckers!

Anonymous said...

Screw politics. There are happier places to be. Just about any place is a happier place to be.

Blujay said...

I still say we should nuke 'em!

Blujay said...

Voice: I give it an "8"---i like the beat!

Anonymous said...

I like your thinking, Bluejay. Want to join the underground?

Donovan said...

Food for thought:

"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. When she bent over, Rover drove her and said, "I've got a bone of my own".

Yeller Tooth said...

Voice: I give it an "8"---I like the beat!

Blujay said...

Been a member for several decades now, o'l chum.

Anonymous said...

Sputy one of your homies told me that you have to choke back vomit whenever you hear the song God Bless America. Any truth to that?

Happy Pappy said...

This discussion sure has taken a dose dive. It seems that the anarchist/libertarian crowd has arrived and would like the corporatists to run things again. Now Anonymous, which one? wants to know if Sputy likes the Star Spangled Banner since he has taken the word of a homey. Here we go again, questioning the patriotism of Sputy, for surely anyone who questions the right-wing must be unpatriotic. The spirit of Joe McCarthy has returned to America and I'm feeling the need to hurl myself....

Anonymous said...

Screw the politicians, the corporatists and all of the other special interest groups that the politicians serve. All power to 'we the people'! And for your information, Joe McCarthy's contentions (not his tactics) have been subsequently exonerated. America has been infiltrated by Communists at least since FDR, if not before. Of course now all of that is a moot point, because America welcomes Communists now. If we were to rid ourselves of Marxists/communists there would be little left of the Democratic Party and would reduce the population of America by about 30%. I don't think that the Dems would deny that. Most of the Democratic socialists are out of the closet now. They have a huge voting bloc in America. Even you must know that.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, YOU'RE BORING! I imagine you must be a shut-in, or else just a total social outcast, whose whole lowly existance revolves around the numerous blogs and editorial sites, where you spend your poor, lonely hours "showing up" the nincompoops, the illiterate, the mis-informed, and other poor earthlings less astute, and less capable of strategic thoughT than yourself. I PITY YOU! Start a stamp collection, hang out at the mall, go to night school, but please, please quit wasting breath, and bandspace with your super-intelligence and great thought tags.

BORED USER!

Anonymous said...

Retirees have time on their hands. Besides, think of how boring this blog would be if no one offered counterpoints. There would be nothing but posts from Sputnik's yes men. Even he must get tired of reading posts from his choir. What't the harm in stirring things up a bit? And, I hate to harsh your mellow, but I have lived quite a successful life. That is why I am retired and have time on my hands. One final thought. Why would you say that someone who plays a contrarian role on this blog must be a social outcast. Yes, I would be considered an outcast by progressives, but I have lots of company on my side of the issues. In fact, my homies are quite fond of me and my insights, etc. It thrills me to find that I piss liberals and progressives off. In my old age that is my raison de'etre. More thrills, please.