Monday, February 11, 2013

Strike Up the Band

In past years, Grammy night has traditionally been among my wife's least favorite evenings. It's because I tend to grow cynical and bitter about certain contemporary performers and shout epithets filled with jealousy and rage at the television, except only Melody can hear them. This year, however, the annual Grammy Awards show was downright entertaining and bordered on the spectacular. There was no Lady Gaga emerging from an egg and everyone's favorite egomaniac, Kanye West, skipped the proceedings entirely. What there was in abundance though, was great singing and dynamic performances, except for Taylor Swift's bizarre opening number, which appeared like a Fellini stage version of Alice In Wonderland if all the actors were insane. Her song, "We Are Never Getting Back Together Again," was yet another in a long line of hate-screeds about her latest former lover. It even included Swift kicking a hapless man around the stage, but I'm certain he was guilty of something. I'm just about over Swift's male-bashing song list and her repertoire of exes. If she ever had a successful romantic relationship, Taylor would have nothing to write about. What's the opposite of misogyny?
 
CBS, still smarting from Janet Jackson's Superbowl "wardrobe malfunction" a decade ago, wanted to take no chances this time around. The network sent an unintentionally hilarious memo around to the program's guest list saying, "Buttocks and female breasts must be adequately covered," leaving the exposure of the male buttocks as optional, I suppose. "Avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and the buttocks crack." I guess the show wasn't planning on having any plumbers in attendance. "Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Be sure the genital region is covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure." Although the CBS memo read like the Ken Starr report on the sins of Bill Clinton, it was the equivalent of throwing down the gauntlet to a bunch of rock stars that thrive on outrage. It's just a good thing that Flea, of the Red Hot Chili Peppers wasn't there. As it was, Rihanna showed forbidden nipple exposure and under-bosom tattoos, J-Lo showed an endless leg, and Alicia Keys showed pretty much everything. The undisputed champion of ignoring the network memo was Katy Perry, who single-handedly won for best performance by a duo. On the red carpet pre-show, when asked who she was wearing, Perry replied, "Hugh Hefner."
 
Justin Timberlake once again did the home folks proud. His new, soul-tinged songs bring back memories of the glorious days before auto-tune when singers had to actually sing, and there is still a little bit of Memphis in his compositions. Justin's big band may have been called the Tennessee Kids, but he is a mature artist in his prime. Even Beyonce said, "We all love you Justin," and it seemed to be true. Only, Justin better watch his ass, or buttocks in this case, because Bruno Mars is hot on his tail, so to speak. Mars is simply the most dynamic performer going, with a spectacular voice. Justin may be smoother, but Mars has got the whole James Brown thing down. I don't leave the house much, but I might just pay to see Bruno Mars in concert, depending on the seats. When Rihanna, Ziggy Marley, and Sting joined Mars in a tribute to Bob Marley, singing "Could You Be Loved," the ordinarily jaded music industry crowd were on their feet. I'll bet it smelled something like teen spirit in the room as giant images of the dreadlocked Rastaman were projected overhead.
 
A Memphis influence was a continual presence throughout the broadcast. A regeneration of Soul music influenced by Stax Records is in vogue, as is a roots-based, Sun Sound, as represented by Mumford and Sons. The names and images of Duck Dunn and Andrew Love were featured in a tribute to artists we have lost this year, though not prominently enough for my taste, and the musical tribute to beloved Arkansan Levon Helm featuring the incomparable Mavis Staples again had the Hollywood audience dancing in the aisles. Kelly Clarkson sang a masterful version of "The Tennessee Waltz," in memory of Patti Page, and emcee LL Cool J mentioned Memphis in reference to Timberlake's hometown. We've got the heart. If we only had a brain.
 
If Ike Turner lost everything after his violent abuse of Tina was made public, why does Chris Brown still have a career? The horrifying photos of what he did to Rihanna were sufficient evidence that he should disappear from public life. Yet, there he was, on the front row, nominated for best something-or-other, in the same category as his rival, Frank Ocean. Brown, proving that he also punches men, was in a fistfight with Ocean last month over a parking space at a recording studio. According to police reports, Brown threatened to shoot Ocean. When Ocean won the award for "Best Urban Contemporary Album," the cameras captured Brown remaining in his seat while the audience stood. The capper came later when Brown and Rihanna were photographed reunited and smiling, abuser and enabler. Meanwhile, Frank Ocean's meandering version of "Forrest Gump," was bewildering, despite the nifty camera effects. A flock of monarch butterflies also flew off of Carrie Underwood's dress and a concluding rap summit, featuring LL Cool J and Chuck D, was interrupted for CBS' rap which, after all, is the name of the game. Oh, I forgot. They also gave out a bunch of awards- but who cares?
 
 
 
 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

"And the Blog Goes On"

James Hooker, Nipple Whisperer said...

Opposite of misogyny? There are two words. One of ´em is BITCH. The other you´d edit out, so I won´t bother using cunt.

Craig Fuller said...

You're commentary was much better than the Grammy show! The opposite of misogyny - philandering? I'll think about that a little more.

Steve in DC said...

Misandry...

Anonymous said...

The opposite of misogyny is indeed misandry (man hater). Steve must be educated. Why are you surprised that no one is holding Chris Brown accountable for his abominable treatment of other people? You of all people should be aware of the Left's unspoken policy (and double standard) of holding no minority accountable for anything. If a conservative WASP were to beat his girlfriend you would never hear the end of it from the Left. That sort of thing has been going on for years. I am surprised that you brought the subject up. It makes you sound naive.

Anonymous said...

This is beating a dead horse, but remember back in the 60's, 70's, and most of the 80's whenever you turned on your tuner you heard nothing but great music? I believe it was Joni Mitchell who said that the Muse of music had departed. I think that this happened sometime in the late 80's or early 90's. I can't tell you how many young people I have heard who feel cheated because they weren't born during the musical golden era. Regarding this year's Grammy's, I think that Gotye's hit song (Someone I Used To Know) was the best of them all. It is very reminiscent of the artsy 80'S. Prince said that he loved it and that is pretty high praise...if you like Prince which I do.