Thursday, December 18, 2008

Magical History Tour

The criminal Bush has been making the rounds lately, trying to convince everyone that he wasn't that bad, but at every turn he continues to step on his dick. Bush told Fox "News," "I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy." What soul? And now that Sen. Carl Levin has mentioned the potential for indictments concerning cases of state torture and violating the Geneva Conventions, Bush can look forward to being a very popular guy in Federal Prison. Leaked GOP talking points encouraged Bushies to say that he "maintained the honor and dignity of the office." I guess that means he didn't diddle an intern on his desk. But I would have much preferred he screwed his secretary instead of the Constitution. We're all the blue dress now. Fortunately, George picked up some Iraqi shoes to match.

The shoe dodging video is like a good Beatles album where you recognize something new with every listening, in this case viewing. My initial reaction was shock and outrage. After all, Goober is my president, too. And although I detest the man, his smug, willful ignorance, and the wreckage he has created in the world, I never wished him personal harm. I've often thought that perhaps if someone had kicked his ass 35 or 40 years ago, it might have done wonders for his humility problems, but what purpose would that serve now? Still, the shoe tosser might have heaved something more dangerous while the Secret Service was having a coffee klatch in the back room. I understand they scanned the crowd for weapons and the Iraqi journalist was known by the people in attendance. They said the same thing about Jack Ruby.

Bush passed it off as a messy expression of democracy. Hell, he never even stopped chewing his gum. In true Democracies, however, you don't hear the protester's screams in the next room while the Prime Minister's bone breakers assure him an extended stay in the hospital. Now, the Iraqi journalist/shoe tosser is a folk hero in the Arab world, and even much of the Western world, for one reason; he is the only outraged civilian Bush has had to face in eight years. In my questioning of the Secret Service's reactions, I'd forgotten that there are millions of angry people in the world who would literally die for proximity to Bush, and the true miracle of the Service's protection is that the only harm done to the President in his entire term was by a pretzel.

For eight years, Bush's audience's have been so carefully screened, if they were not big money donors or soldiers, he couldn't get a word out for the shouts and boos. His bubble is so thick, he hasn't so much been heckled in public, and yet he continues to portray himself as merely a victim of circumstance. All those bad things- war, rendition, wiretapping, corruption, economic collapses, hurricanes- just happened to take place while Bush was busy doing the nation's business. Only that one lonely protester in New Orleans that shouted, "Go fuck yourself, Mister Cheney," got through to this gang. Cheney is so contemptuous of the public and the law, he's admitted approving "harsh interrogation techniques" against detainees. In effect, Cheney is saying to the next Justice Department, "bring 'em on." Thus far, Cheney has been accountable to no one, so let the investigations begin, the subpoenas fly, and the chips fall.

This group still believes that in ten years, if Iraq is self-governing, that they will be vindicated by history. Kissinger thought that too, about the carpet bombing of North Vietnam. In the end, it's the casualties that can never be forgiven, and to date, there are 4,209 U.S. soldiers confirmed dead, and another 30,000 wounded. JustForeignPolicy.org estimates 1,284,105 dead Iraqi civilians, (other estimates go from 100,000 to 2 million. The figure is not officially recorded), and an additional 2.5 million people displaced. In that light, "A kiss goodbye from the Iraqi people," in the form of a flying shoe is a fairly mild protest for a "dirty dog." It's a good thing that when someone says "lame duck," Bush takes it literally.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suppose if anything bad happens during Obama's presidency, you will find a way to blame it on Bush.
Get over it !

Anonymous said...

{A simulation. A metaphor. A means to outline the essentials of a situation.}

So, it turns out that when a guy comes in off the street and has a couple of bigger fellows with him and is in my house because they knocked my door down along with that side of my house and then the bigger guys hold down my daughter and wife and then the smaller guy smirks and pulls down his pants and has his way with both of them over the armrest of the lounger in my den and then he smiles some faraway smile while he pulls up his trousers and then ties them, my wife and my daughter, up and takes me outside with him because the bigger guys have a really good grip on me and the smaller guy sets fire to my house and I can hear the screams of my wife and daughter and then after about 3 hours the house, wife, and daughter are all carbon and oxygen and hydrogen and I am left standing in front while the two bigger guys hand me a note that the smaller guy says that he's sorry about the mistake but these things happen....it turns out that in those situations I don't usually "get over it".

Maybe too graphic. Maybe not. Have any of us had our houses blown to fucking smithereens, had our children have their faces blown off, had to move out of our houses because we'd be killed by our neighbors who have now been mobilized by an idiot for who history was jess one of dem corses that the smart kids took and now we are living in a tent in a desert with no place to go? Any of you guys down in Tennessee? Any guys in Arkansas, Mississippi? Any of you folks had your whole world, and the only one by the way that you'll ever have, considering the life span of your usual two legged animal....ever had it ripped apart completely?

No? Hey, that's pretty lucky as it turns out.

I think I'd never let it go. I'd do more than throw shoes at the idiot. The Idiot belongs in the Idiot's ward. Cheney should be hung in public on worldwide TV with a marching band and a 1 million person choir singing at the top of their lungs, "Die, you son of a bitch. Die."

Don't think the author of the first comment would really let it go, either. All the smart money is laying behind the line that says the person who wrote the first comment would want blood. That's what I think.

Which seems perfectly natural and appropriate to me. Letting "it" go? Not real natural, right?

Anonymous said...

hey,randy get over it, he is just another Nixon = Clinton, their all the same they just change their last name..

Anonymous said...

So, who really care's any more about anything other than # 1. I'm free, white and Scooter Libby. "Who Who,Who Are You?"

Anonymous said...

My dear Randolph! Our current president may just be the asshole you say he is...but he is our asshole of the United States of our America. Don't forget that a regime change in Iraq was recommended by the Clinton administration because of those damn muferen WMDs... but didn't carry it out because the political climate was not quite ready for prime time. Bubba was on Letterman after 9/11 & said now that Bush had the country behind him he should consider putting the screws to Iraq. Now who is screwing who? Our asshole in chief has only a few weeks left. Lets move on to Obama for bigger & better visions for our country and our world.
By the way! My mamma (the late Mid-South Lady Wrestling Champion-- The Black Pantheress) use to tell me that rednecks would throw more than shoes at you when you and your band played down in those dives in Mississippi. It wasn't all room keys and panties! No sir!More like...Chairs... whiskey bottles... beer bottles...Knives...Gideon Bibles and other weapons for your ass's destruction! Now! May we all thank Jesus and the powerful miracle of chicken wire that our Sputnik is still alive singing for his supper & writing some thought provoking essays or whatever the hell you call them. By the way! I think it was just awful that Fr Farken joked about your blue-sued 10 gallon yamuke & black belt in jew*jitszu on display at the Country Music Hall of Fame! It sounds like good old Father Farken may need some big time sensitivity training and to all you Honkeys(sp?) out there...uh.. never mind!
One last thing! I don't believe for one minute you are smoking them refruhs. That sounds like a Dean Martin martini in my hand stunt trying to create an image. There is no way you could be doing this magnificent show smoking you a refruh!
Yours Truly! SIREEN

Randy Haspel said...

Thank you Sireen. Actually, it's the Rockabilly Hall of Fame in Jackson. Me n' Carl...
Happy Chanukah.

Anonymous said...

Good riddance and I hope I live to see that asshole in jail,along with all the rest of his cronies. All hail Sputnik57!!!! Skeeter

Anonymous said...

hail, hail rock n' roll. good stuff you write, my friend good stuff.

Anonymous said...

You liberals wouldn't even lift a finger to protect your own families. You would probably appoint someone like Alan Combs to be your Secretary of Defense. You are a bunch of limp-wristed, light-in-the-loafers pansies and if your positions were followed we would all get killed. Do you feel that Israel should be as pacifistic as you expect the U.S. to be? If so, how long do you think that Israel would last seeing as how they are surrounded by people who would like to kill every single Jew in the world? No one in their right mind wants war but if you are backed into a corner most men with balls will at least fight for their lives and the lives of their loved ones. But of course, not the liberals. You all seem to be somewhat masochistic. Stab us, shoot us, pee on us, take our money, etc. but we will never, ever strike back because that is not nice. What a bunch of sniveling, grovelling cowards. And who cares if some terrorist is roughed up to get vital information that saves lives. The talking point that torture doesn't work is painting with a broad brush. Lots of criminals and terrorists will talk with even minimal coercion. Some might lie or whatever, but lots of them will sing without having to be submitted to anything too drastic. Unfortunately, this is a hard-ball world. Forget this and you can kiss your ass goodbye. The Iraq war was a bad idea, but there are instances when you have to fight if you want to survive. I suppose you think that we shouldn't have resisted Hitler or Japan. If so, Hitler would have seen to it that there would never have been a Randy who lives to demand absolute pacifism. May I call you and those who follow your extremely pacifistic position 'Doormat Randy and His Cringing Compatriots'?

Anonymous said...

Bush and all of those that he surrounded himself with are indeed losers. They have succeded in nearly bringing this country down. He is a sorry leader. I hate to admit that I voted for him. He is responsible for the fact that I now listen seriously to the Democrats for the first time in my life. I may never forgive him for causing me to do such a dastardly thing. So far I actually think that Obama is the right choice even though I didn't vote for him. If he continues to impress me I will probably vote for him in 2012. My quasi-conversion is thanks to the incredibly inept and dishonest GOP. I will be very interested to see if the Democrats can do better. If not, I will probably just quit voting and forget about it all.

Anonymous said...

Sireen,I'll bet that Randy is not above smoking a refruh. How about it, Randy? Why don't you write a position piece about smoking refruhs. Pros, cons (if there are any), etc. Had any lately?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous from 12/20 2:16 pm had a good point. He said that the world is a hardball place and that anyone who forgets this will lose their ass, or something to that effect. If you don't believe it, ask any white, Anglo-Saxon protestant (wasp). They are now pretty assless and will probably be near extinction by the end of the century. Demographers say that they will be in the minority by mid-century. Talk about a loss of wealth and power due to lack of vigilance and having lost the balls to stand up and fight...look at them. They are a good case in point. At one time they practically ruled the planet. Now they are pushed around by almost anybody. Now they are a bunch of toothless paper tigers. All anyone has to do is call them the 'r-word' word and they will give up the ranch. Nowhere in history has their been such a capitulation of wealth and power all because of name-calling.